M, I like this a lot. Anything I could really criticize would be too picky, I think, for poetry.

It flows quite well, and there's some excellent description. Thanks.

as i said, brilliant. BRILLIANT. xD

i've been missing my older brother lately so this was kinda sweet for me strangely. i like the American Indian tone to it. and you are too kind with your words. cheers-rabbit

Very descriptive, I love the verse about the running water. Keep it up!

strong sense of description tied to rhyme and rhythm, love "as you tease the grass with your light-foot steps", nice work.