I really enjoyed reading this - initially, I began reading it and only got to the third chapter. I remember in high school I had to write a myth and I couldn't quite do it to my liking - this is so well written and I saw the events flow like the animation that accompanies Pink Floyd's music videos... hope that reference doesn't offend you because it's not supposed to. This first chapter is awesome by itself.
Once I get the chance to read 3rd and beyond, you'll see another review from me... :)

Nice story! I hope you continue!

A very nice Creation story. Though I'm not too fond of the last line; it seems somewhat unnecessary.