Awesome

Stupendous

I love myself for reading this story...and I love you for writing such a wonderfull story..!! :))

Though i wonder if real life 'Seth' exists...! still for the moment I can live with Mae's Seth...!! :))

Magnificient...!

Aw i love the end xD this story is flippen awesome :D

very cute
sometimes id just get so mad at
mae for her naivety and complete stupidness
but sure made the story funner. hahahaha
:] good job

special brownies. Of course.

-Love the story so far-

-PLKAF

Yipes! (ugh, I'm going insane.) Well, I don't know how long ago you posted this last chapter, but I have to say its one of the best stories I've read here on FP. (: I really liked how Seth isn't really the popular boy that everyone thinks he is. Plus, I love how Mae was so in denial. Haha.

Great job on this wonderful story!

-Hayley

Aw...so cute!

xx

this story was amazing you are truly an amazing writer keep writing

I'm not sure if you still want feedback on this, but here I go.

Firstly, I like the quote in this chapter very much.
Though, I think finding quotes that have more to do with the story would be better. (Or it does, and I'm a complete idiot)

So, I can't really understand why she dislikes Seth so much, I'm oblivious as to why. It would be more apparant if you made a reason for it in the beginning.
I've read the next chapters too, and I don't find the reason for it anywhere. She just acts the way someone may do when they like someone and wont say it, but there's nothing in the story which seems to make her like him either. This I think is not very well, and a reason for either her to emidately dislike him, or for her to like him for anything but superficial reasons would be nice.

The fact that he's a playboy means he's got fairly good social skills, how she - who seems dubious to know anything of the sort - to help him in the area is very unlikely. Rather than him having a problem conversing he would have a problem talking about himself, since that's how you get to know someone, conversing goes both ways.

And I don't praticulary understand why Seth cares about her, in the way you've talked about her it does seem unlikely that he would like her. Apparantly from what you've told she's not pretty, and he's hardly had much time getting to know her.
And blond girls being better is biased, many guys like black, brown, red and coloured hair too. This however, is not that major.

And as far as grammar goes, the ! sign should not be used when someone screams. It is fine in a yell like "Ack!", "Ouch!", "No!", and etc. but in places like "I'm home!", “ ‘A chip of the ol’ block,’ that’s me!” and “You know what I would be like?!” the fact that it's screamed or said loudly should be in the literate part after the spoken part.
Also, I think you should consider lengthening the paragraphs, or rather, not cut them of so early. It makes it harder to read when it is cut off so often. At least I think so, but it does look cleaner.

But otherwise, the plot of the "nerd" not wanting to deal with love, falling in love with the new guy (and a playboy), although much used, is a good base.
The stories of their families and how they both don't get along so well with them, is a nice touch, gives them some depth and reason for why they act the way they do.

The fact that she worries and think about Seth and actually like him comes quite apparant, which is good, since you bring out her emotions well.
Although the reason it happenes seems highly superficial.
And I like some part of the text, like how he avoided her instead of opposite, the fact that she cared highly proving that she didn't dislike him.

So I hope I didn't say this all to unclear. And that you actually understand what I found was good and what I found could need improvement.
But I'm not very good at critique, so pardon me if I've made it all too confusing.

I LOVE this!! I love every single word you have written. Yep, I love it so much that I even love all of the commas, and fullstops and everything that goes into this story. And yea, I'm only up to chapter two. ha ha.

"I felt like washing my mind out with soap."
LOL HA HA that is now officially my favorite sentence ever. :)

and yay - my name means beloved.

x

omg love

Hi, I read your story last night, but felt so bad about not reviewing that I came back just to review. Was this your first story on fictionpress? Either way its really good. I wish the summary told a little more about the story though, because I bet more people would readit then. I've seen it around the site a million times but always said 'nah.' Yeah, I'm a moron.
Anyways, I really enjoyed it. You make good main characters. They always frustrate the hell out of me until the end, then I feel better. The way you potray things is really advances. I actually felt embarrassed during some of Mae's embarrassing moments (like her challenging Alexis to a fight).
Am i going anywhere with this? Not really. Its really good. There I said it. Oh in the story you mentioned a scene where they were watching an old musical, I have to say I was offended once I recognized the musical Mae was making fun of. 'Hello Dolly' happens to be one of my favorite old movies, and hearing people insult classics really hurts me, because without those great movies we wouldn't have the cinematic experiences of our time. I don't know whether you share your character's hatred of old musicals or not, but could you at least pick a musical that actually sucked? Pretty please?

Okay I'm ending this long, pointless, review now. Write more stories, otherwise I may die.

productofdreams

Wow. That is so cute!

So yeah, i have school tomorrow, which means i have 2 get up at 6am.
and yeah its 2 in the morning.
Butbutbut i just had to read this!
It was so amazing.

I think that Seth was friggin awesome.
I loved how he acted in the epilogue chapter.
Like he was always wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead and stuff.

The only thing i didnt like was how u made mae so desperate in the last 2 or 3 chapters.
But it all worked out xD

this story was funny and romancey and just realy good.

: )

Sry for being so rambly.
It happens when im tired.
I'll just strt reviewing something and then go into a topic like ice cream or something.

Much like i am doing now.

So i think i should win an award for longest review xD

I'll shut up now.

my only issue is that they're moving into deep, touchy-feely conversations too fast. they should've built up trust a bit more.

but that's just my opinion. other than that, i like it lots.

haha. SethAndAlexis. AKA. Sexis.

Omgsh. That was hilarious. I loved the psych part. Haha. I actually didn't see those first two sentences because I'm blind so... all I saw was the psych... and then I went back. HAHA. XD
Arrested, depression, running off with Amy! HAHA!
You have an amazing sense of humour, let me tell you that.

Anyway, I love the characters. It's cool that you didn't make them out to be perfect or jump into each other's arms. Like at first, she didn't run for him and then he didn't for her and then there was trouble.

Awesome ending. Love the quotes too. Seth and Mae are made for each other.
They're such computer nerds, I really don't know anything about what's in it or about photoshop/HTML or any of them.

Mae had to mess up on cooking again, didn't she? Haha. It's ok. I suck too but only at cooking, baking's fine.

SO, I loved this story. It was awesome how random and stupid Mae was. Amy's a cool character too btw. And Clark reminds me of myself way back when I was soo nice that I never even used to say no. I'm still really nice but I can be bitchy if anyone messes with my friend/family. XD

ANYWAY. I love you for writing this. Hope you have success with your other stories! Thanks and bye. =)