i think the last line throws it off a bit but otherwise, i like it & i can relate.

wow...haha...just the right way u explained to me personally in msn..but in a poem form.. yep.. is more touching. it doesn't sound soo serious at first, but if u take a second look of it, i can sense that there's an inner scar that is wounded deeply...which also means that the memory of urs having that scar will rest forever in ur mind.. but heck, i'm always here to make u a happy person.. and i hope the people around u too make u feel great.. cuz even if it is a moment of happiness we share, the wound will start closing slowly...and i hope u take a look on the other side of wat is coming to u.. shining light ^^

I like your choice in vocabulary, though you can do make it a bit more vivid, thus increasing the violence of the poem as far as I can tell. I also like how you write it pretty much, it flows well. Now then...the bad part, i think you should stop following the crowd of the angst teens that write about this same subject. try to write something no ones ever seen for this will increase your potential. Trust me, I've been through that before and its helped laods. :)

Wow. Well writtne. I can relate.