one word. WOW! This is really good! you've explained exactly how I feel. I really wish I could write like that. I really like it!you should check out my poem. I'ts called poems of death in the poetry-life section.tell me what you think, and meanwhile keep writing great stories!~michele~

Lovely, the feeling is well established and portrayed nicely. I whole heartedly agree that adding to the length would ruin the effect. Good job.

i love the way you bring out your story... good job... ^_^