I reviewed your first couple of chapters way back when, and I recall reading at least the next two chapters later on, although I didn't review them at the time. I'm afraid I failed to read #5 and #6 over the summer, however -- until just now, when I made up for lost time. Now that I've refreshed my memory of what you're doing, I do hope that you intend to press forward with this someday, all the way through to the finish line! I'm sorry to note that it's been months since you wrote and posted another chapter! Tasha has still barely started her new training regimen and diet! One of these days, I'm hoping to see her actually pull on a costume and go beat somebody up in a good cause!

(Hmm. I better be careful not to get too much on my high horse about this delay, or else you're likely to ask some very pointed question, such as, "Lorendiac, until you updated your own ongoing story just the other day, how long had you simply left it sitting there, gathering dust?" And then I'd have to say, "Well . . . er . . . you see . . . maybe a few mon- *ahem!* Let's not dwell on such trivial details! That's ancient history now!")

Incidentally, I was intrigued by your hints that suddenly something is changing within Natasha as she faces the athletic challenge of the tennis game. Judging by both her own feelings and her sister's opinion as an outside observer, the change involves a visible improvement in her hand-eye coordination (at least on the tennis court; we readers don't know yet if there will be a marked difference in how she handles other types of physical activity from now on, although I certainly have my suspicions). As well as a general feeling of greater enthusiasm for such a challenge than she ever felt before. There could be various explanations for this -- Natasha favors the idea that it's largely psychological, a very pleasant side effect of a dramatic shift in her general attitude towards athletic activity, because of recent events and discoveries, which is a perfectly logical theory for her to have! But I can think of a few other possibilities, some of them more or less "scientific," some of them quite different. After all, you did choose to place this story under the "Fantasy" category. (Of course, Natasha doesn't know that's the kind of story she's in, does she? :))

Now, with those general comments out of the way, let's move along to the Shameless Nitpicking portion of the program!

I don't guarantee to point out every single possible typographical error, but I'll mention a few things that look like simple slips or that could confuse the reader somehow.

* As a car passed by, she heard the sounds of The Pixies making its way to her ears and turned towards the car. *

You said: "the sounds," which is plural. So the sounds should be making "their way" to her ears.

* She waved back as Tasha before she turned the corner past the school causing her friend to chuckle and shake her head. *

She waved back "at" Tasha. And you need a comma after "past the school" to make it clear where one clause ends and the other begins.

* Gym class was the only time that students at Blue Lake High were allowed to wear whatever they wanted for gym class and Tasha took full rights of that privilege. *

You don't need to say "gym class" twice in the same sentence about the school's dress code. And "full rights" looks a little odd. I don't swear it's "bad grammar." It may be perfectly good grammar for all I know! I'm honestly not sure! But I don't usually see people say that someone "took rights of" and it feels weird. (This could be largely a matter of personal taste.)

At any rate: Here's my suggested version of that sentence, right or wrong!

"Gym class was the only time that students at Blue Lake High were allowed to wear whatever they wanted, and Tasha took full advantage of that privilege."

* He looked towards the other students who were slowly making their way towards the court with Ms. Spencer and Mr. Landon, the gym teachers for the girls and boys physical education. “Spencer is going to be pleased that you volunteered to be quarterback for tag football today. *

First, the last part of the first sentence I quoted there should say: "girls' and boys' physical education." Because you're not just talking about groups of girls and boys; you're talking about the P.E. program that is "possessed" by the girls and the boys both; therefore you need to make those words "plural possessives" with apostrophes. In contrast, if you had simply said, "the gym teachers for the girls and the boys," without dragging the phrase "physical education" into it, then you wouldn't need the apostrophes after all. (Was all that clear as mud?)

Second, the second sentence I quoted should have quotation marks at the very end to mark the end of Kirk's speech.

* No one to get the story from them and while some thought that the two gym teachers would get married, everyone knew that wouldn’t happen. *

The first part of that sentence feels like a few words were accidentally skipped. Perhaps you meant to start something like this? "No one was ever able to get the story from them," etc.?

Also, it seems a bit self-contradictory to say that "some" thought the two teachers might marry, but then immediately turn around and assure us that "everyone" knew that wouldn't happen. Logically, shouldn't the students who are among the "some" be part of the larger group called "everyone"? Perhaps you meant "everyone ELSE knew" to make it clear there were two separate schools of thought on this subject among the students? Those hoping for a romance between the two teachers are a minority, and the skeptics on that subject are the strong majority, which makes them "everyone else"?

* The game of tennis lasted a good amount of time with the Blackwell’s winning by a margin of two points. The winners from the other group who was playing tennis moved over to play against them, while the loser when over to flag football and relieve four grateful students of their flags. *

No apostrophe necessary for Blackwells. Just a simple plural. If their surname was being used as a possessive, that would be a different kettle of fish. For instance: "The Blackwells' margin of victory was two points" would be correctly punctuated!

Also, I think that should be "the other group which was playing tennis." And towards the end, I think it should be "the losers went over" and "relieved."

First, a general overview of my reactions to the plot in this installment.

I'm glad John finally got around to clarifying the idea that Natalia can bow out if she really doesn't want to do this. That definitely wasn't clear in his thoughts in Chapter 1, nor in the way he initially phrased his sudden revelation of this secret family tradition at the end of dinner. But I'm glad he eventually mentioned it wasn't strictly mandatory :)

I had wondered in passing if someone would mention a possible back-up plan: If Natasha decides she isn't really interested, but Sabrina says she is, then they could agree to let Sabrina start training when she's the age Natasha is now? However, since Natasha chose to start the training regimen, that particular problem didn't have to be faced. Not yet, anyway. I get the impression, however, that Sabrina may not be satisfied to just sit on the sidelines and cheer for her sister, in the long run. Even if I'm right, though, it won't necessarily become a problem tomorrow morning or next week.

(Incidentally, I don't think you've ever mentioned just how old Sabrina is right now. We know Natasha has already had her sixteenth birthday, and we know Sabrina is her younger sister, but (unless I missed a reference somewhere) we don't know just how far apart they were born. There was no law that said you had to establish her exact age right away; I'm just pointing this out in case you want to mention it in a later chapter.)

I am curious about just what sort of special training Natasha will have to endure. We only know about the diet, specifically, at this point. You had previously dropped a good hint about the total absence of junk food when you had her father think that her doughnut-eating days were numbered, or words to that effect, in the first chapter. Even so, I found it hard to believe he was going to impose a "total health food" diet, despite the hint of it. Now that he's announced the rule, I'm wondering what he will do the first time he finds Natasha sneaking around and eating doughnuts behind his back.

Now for the shameless nitpicking portion of our program! I'm not going to obsess over every insignificant little typo (I say virtuously), but I am going to point out a few, as constructive criticism.

* They hardly knew what to discuss with him that would met as satisfactory to their father. *

That part with "met" is awkward. Perhaps you meant something like this? "They hardly knew what to discuss with him that would meet with their father's satisfaction."

* “Daddy, I didn’t do anythi-,” *

Just recently I had occasion to open up a book about punctuation and look up the way to handle that type of interrupted sentence, where someone gets cut off before finishing what they were trying to say. I wasn't absolutely certain of the official rules, and I needed to know for something I was writing. Here's what I came up with:

In a case such as that sentence above, it's all right to just have it end with an em dash (a dash that is much longer than a hyphen, apparently) and then the closing quotation marks, and then move on to he next paragraph without needing a comma or period to get involved.

In the Microsoft Word program on my computer, if I typed:

"Daddy, I didn't do anythi--"

and then hit ENTER, it would automatically turn those two hyphens into one much-longer-than-usual dash, called an "em dash." According to the book I checked, this is the proper way to punctuate that sort of thing, and then move on to the next paragraph. (As I said, I wasn't absolutely certain how English teachers and professional editors expected us to handle it either, until I looked it up.)

* “Like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde?” Sabrina asked with her eyebrows furrowed in thought. *

Jekyll, not Jeckyl. :)

* “Because you’re sister, in time, will become the Black Cat.” *

"Your sister." "You're" is only a contraction of the phrase "you are." Also, to throw in an extra nitpick regarding the same passage, you sometimes have capitalized the superhero alias as "The Black Cat." And sometimes, as above, you just say "the Black Cat," without a capital T. I think you could get away with either version, but it would be tidier if you picked one or the other, and were completely consistent in how you capitalized that superhero alias each time you mentioned it. (I personally favor "The Black Cat" but I don't insist upon it. I'm just pointing out a tiny inconsistency that nags at me.)

Interesting. I admit I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes in the next chapter.

Now for a few stray comments about things that caught my eye as I went through . . .

About the name "Black Cat." My advice is not to worry about it too much. I read somewhere that it is not possible to exclusively copyright a "story title" or "character name" all by itself. What can be copyrighted is a complete story, or a complete fictional character - the name, the physical appearance, the dialogue, the backstory, the personality, all those things put together in one package deal. This means that if I were to publish a novel with a major character named John Smith, I could not be successfully sued for plagiarism by anyone else who ever wrote about a fictional John Smith unless they could convince a judge and jury that my John Smith was a blatant rip-off of their John Smith - "obviously the same guy," instead of two different guys who both have an incredibly common name :)

(I think I could name at least three or four novels that all had major characters named John Smith, or Johnny Smith, or some other variation. None of those guys struck me as being a shameless ripoff of any of the others. And none of them reminded me of the Captain John Smith who is supposed to have had his life saved by Pocahontas about four hundred years ago, either!)

I have heard that some of the more distinctive and popular fictional character names have been "trademarked," which means different rules apply. That includes "Tarzan" and "Superman," as I understand it. I advise you not to try to sell, to a publisher, any novels about heroes named "Tarzan" or "Superman" unless you have permission from the people who own those characters. But I don't think a relatively obscure character like "Black Cat" has ever been trademarked. I'm not a lawyer, so take all this with a grain of salt :)

*It was at that time, to protect his investments, he created an alter alias for himself. The alter alias of Masque was created.*

Using the exact phrase "alter alias," as well as "created," twice in quick succession, seems too repetitious. And I'm not sure "alter alias" is grammatically correct - although that's more iffy. I could easily be wrong on that one. My advice would be to combine those two sentences; something along these lines: "It was at that time, to protect his investments, that he created an alter-ego: Masque."

*For years, the first-born females of Miriam’s family had followed in their footsteps of their elders and became an alias known as The Black Cat.*

Technically, an alias is just another name for someone. I don't think it's quite right to say that the first-born females each "became a name." What about, "followed in the footsteps of their elders and successively used the same identity: the costume and alias of The Black Cat."

That phrasing probably isn't perfect either. It's just an example for you to consider, of another way to get the point across.

*Stealing a doughnut from the pile, Tasha bit into it as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. Her father looked up at her from his newspaper, thinking that she wouldn’t be able to have those after this morning.*

Nice bit of building a little extra suspense there. I read that and thought, "Huh? What? Hold on; just what kind of news is he about to break to her, that has anything to do with eating doughnuts at breakfast?" :)

I mean, sure, in context I gather it has something to do with the "Black Cat" superhero role, but I don't automatically see the connection to whether or not she's allowed to nibble an occasional doughnut. Makes me wonder just what sort of nitpicking rules and regulations she's supposed to live by, that she currently can't even imagine, if she ever does become The Black Cat.

If I followed what Natasha's dad said, he didn't just promise his wife that he would tell their first-born daughter about the family tradition. He took it upon himself to "promise" that the tradition would continue. I.e., that Natasha WOULD become the next Black Cat, period.

Well, that was a stupid thing for him to do. I am NOT saying this is bad writing on your part. I'm just saying he was stupid to make such a sweeping promise. I LIKE it as a plot twist, because it sets up plenty of family conflict, which seems like a good idea to stir up the reader's emotions as you go along :)

Parents sometimes take it upon themselves to make, or try to make, sweeping commitments in the names of their children - and sometimes it comes back to haunt them as they discover the children are growing up with minds of their own. I can see interesting potential here, because what exactly is her dad planning to do if Tasha just shrugs and says, "Sorry, not interested. I have other plans for my life." Cut off her allowance to punish her for not wanting to be a superhero? Threaten to disinherit her? What?

(The most important question may be: Does he have ANY sort of plans for that contingency? Or has he spent the last sixteen years or so just blithely ASSUMING that she will be extremely happy about the idea when he finally gets around to mentioning it to her?)