The last four lines were really the best. There's such and innocence to this piece, and yet it's somehow stark. The 'we' is not a grade-school couple (at least, didn't seem to me to be) but the playground sort of solidifies this notion of nostalgia.

Groovy.

-pictographic.love

Aw.

"You'd say you watched the sunrise / and elaborate on its /unnecessary beauty."

For some reason I adored that part. This poem was just so magical. It kind of introduced me to a new way of writing that kind of thing from other poems I've read, great job!

i really like the bumblebee sounds of your word choice (ie "hum along to some obscure song"). I feel like the second stanza doesn't follow the sound pattern of the others and lacks their warmth. overall snazz, fun to read.

very warm and nostalgic, muchly enjoyed this, short and nice, excellent job

oh, this is really sweet and beautifully written. nice work.

*Sniff* Beautiful. *Waves tissue around* Just beautiful. =P

And now on to a more concrete review... I guess the best thing about this poem is that the characters almost seem to be growing up through out the poem even though you placed no indication, the last four lines were enough somehow. Great job

hmmthe first stanza is really great...i also like the last two lines...somehow, it leaves a mystery to the readers...like something to think about...rally nice...oh and pls, if you have the time, pls do review some of my poems...esp. my latest one...thanks...

truly yours...