aw this was cute well done :)
x

beautiful.

normally i like to give constructive criticism. i love it, actually. i'll get all nitpicky trying to pick apart the piece i read and find something the writeer can improve on.

but this was just striking. the good overshadowed the bad. it was adorable beyond words.

i'm favorting this. and heading off to read your other stories.

hey. i love this story. i couldnt find anything wrong with it. the end of it just made me so happy. im a sap for romance. lol. loved it and am adding it to my favourites :P

GA

-"Hey Leigh?" / "Hm?" / "I love you too."-

Man, I love those closing lines.

What a sweet little story!! There is nothing more beautiful than romance growing out of a long, close friendship. Talk about starting off on solid ground :) I think sometimes we're really silly in how we look at love. We think we can skip the "I like you, I trust you, I respect you" stage and get right to the "I'm passionately in love with you" part. But it just doesn't work like that. Once the newness fades away, we have to have something enduring to fall back on.

The only criticism I have is that I'm not sure how likely it is that a guy's hand and a girl's hand would be the same size. It's really cute, but probably not that common. Maybe it would make more sense to us if you had commented earlier in the story on how his hands were surprisingly small and slender for a guy's, or that she had larger hands than most girls.

That's it :) That's the only thing I could think of to comment on, other than saying I really enjoyed the story and thought it was genuinely romantic. And believe me, I'm a little hard to please when it comes to romance story. It has to be sincere. This was.

You have absolutely no idea how much I love this.

The inserted lovely, little details reveal a lot about the characters even though we're only with them for a short time (Like Lane's failed test or Leigh's choice of career). It's surprisingly poignant (a word I use a lot for stories I like) and has a personal air to it. One word that could easily describe this is "cute".

Automatic favorite. Thanks for this.

xoxo Aly

Aww, how sweet. I really liked this. You have a nice style and the situation is perfect and creative. I noticed a few tiny parts I would change. (But I'm picky like that.)

I think the past tense of "tread" is "trod", although that doesn't sound as good.

"he tried to clamor up..." -- do you mean clamber up?

"andtugging" should be "and tugging". That also makes me wonder if the participles could be verbs. e.g. "He reached for my hand, took it, and pulled it out of the water..."

"Then suddenly the thought of marrying him didn’t freak me out." -- That line sounds uncomfortable to me. Maybe "freak me out" isn't the best way of saying it. Or maybe "Then one day" would be better. I think it's the combination of "then suddenly" that bothers me.

"But it wasn’t like I’d ever tell him how I felt." -- This line maybe would sound better if it was "it wasn't as if I'd..."?

But other than that, it's a very insightful and well written piece.

Heh, and I'd be that friend with the similar relationship who You'll Never Know Me mentioned. =) This is a really great story...very sweet. I loved it, and it's definitely going on my favorite's list.

~Christine~

This is one of my favorites by you. It made me smile. It was kinda like a little kids story... to tell you the truth it reminds me of two of my friends' relationship. Great job!

this is a pretty awesome story. as far as criticism goes, the only part i think needs some work is the very first paragraph. i think instead of saying "...that once belonged to my best guy friend lane's grandfather..." you should just say "...that once belonged to lane's grandfather" because in the next paragraph, we learn who lane is and it's kinda like repeating yourself. but overall this is a really cute story. i hope you get it published!

guys hands are usually larger than ours aren't they?

lol that's me fishing for something to criticize and failing miserably.

It's very cute. I don't really think you need to change anything.

simple, innocent, sweet. i liked this a lot(:

Aw. Cute, I like it.

Keep going. =)

Oh. No, don't change it; it's beautiful as it is. It's absolutley lovely. Pure fluff.The only thing I can say to watch - seeing as you asked for crit, is the fourth paragraph, where you start it with then... I just don't love that.But I love the rest of it, and I'm really glad I read it.