FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| S. 2006-02-13 ch 1,  | Very cool! ^-^ |
| SirenThird 2006-02-09 ch 1,  | I like the rhyming at the begining, it has a nice rythm. But it just seems to vanish after "I let life pass me by" The first line that's just "Me" doesn't seem to fit I think, I feel a bit like it takes away from the rest of the poem. You might try adding it to the line above or cutting it out all together. There's a typo on the third to last line, it says "Were" instead of "Where" Also possibly on the second to last line, I'm not sure if you meant to capitalize the word "One" I like this poem though, in that it expresses what many people feel all the time. It's very easy to identify with this what you've said here. Oh! And thanks so much for your reviews! ^-^ |