What is this?! A cheap imitaiotn of Gungrave and Devil May Cry, that's what it is! Haha, just kidding mon, I liked it. Had me hooked.

Peace

Your pacing could use some work.

im glad this chapter was longer, but how is it that he could defeat the creature so quickly...didnt he shoot him once before and the wound healed up?

this must take place way in the future im assuming...lol. itas good though, but maybe since it does take place so far in the future you should try to expand more on some of the new age things (ex. teleportation) instead of just trying to focus on th main character...try to bring out some other things as well

O! I CANT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHO HIS FRIEND IS.! LOL

good stuff,but his one was a little too short for me...it was still good though. please dont take anything critical i say personally. im just trying to help. it was good

well i liked the first chapter...it got my attention and got me interested although im pretty much dumb when it comes to political stuff, so hopefully ill be able to follow it, but good job so far. if you have time please review my stuff. thanx

I think you should resolve any conflict you have before ending the chapter. (ECT:Mechinegun fire...) and whats happens next.

Nice. The fight was kinda short, but that's fine. It takes time to get a good deal of description into a fight, but it also takes experience. Just keep reading and writing until you get better, and the story will continue to be awesome.

Definitely an intruguing storyline. I like the characters, and the hunt for revenge is appealing.

Personally, I'm a bit of a stickler for realism, and there were two major things that caught my attention in the opening chapter. First of all, why would Seraph have been taken prisoner, while the rest of his team was killed? Clearly the commander's men opened fire on them with the intent to kill, not to take any prisoners. And secondly, I'm having a hard time imagining how even the technology of modern times could have ressurected a person dead twenty years. After that long of a time, the body would have deteriorated into hardly anything.

Other than those two details, I'm liking the story. Keep it up!

While the story itself is good, the chapters are rather short. That'd be my only complaint.

very cool. nice beginning. a real hook! I especially like the whole "fast forward to today" bit.