Reviews for Tomahawks and Marriage Flowers

Reviews For: Tomahawks and Marriage Flowers - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

LALALALALALA elmo's world 2008-04-05 ch 7, anon.	abusewow! thIS is LIKE awesome! please continue
Natasha5 2008-03-24 ch 7, anon.	abuseAwh, please hurry up and update this. I miss it.
Call me Mars 2008-02-16 ch 7,	abuseI LOVE this! It's so fascinating style of writing, and I loved how you wrote Hawk's skin was simply like carmel--like the candy~! How sweet. :) I'm already a fan of Hawk and Timmy! (since chapter one) Do you have any idea how old are the characters? Hawk? Timmy? Sky Watcher? Sturdy Plant? Blooming Flower? But everytime I seem to comment for the first time or add to alert, no one updates. I just might be a bad luck tick. :( I just hope you update soon! :)
Switch 2008-02-13 ch 7,	abuseSo hey... It sure has been a while. I miss you... and I want to read the next chapter really really bad so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE update? ::puppy eyes::
TwoForTeaTwoForPleasure 2008-02-10 ch 7,	abuseKeep going! This is great! I've never read a western shonen-ai...I love this!
innominate noun 2008-01-16 ch 4,	abuseHello! Wow, I have no idea whether you're still updating this or not, but either way...I'd like to point out a few things here. But before we get into all that, I'd like to point out that one of the things I really really enjoyed is how you handled the language barrier between Timothy and the rest of them. Now... Mainly, I'm going to go with some grammar and stylistic things. On the style side, what I noticed very first was the profusion of adverbs. From my writing bible, The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, follows this piece of advice: "Write with nouns and verbs...it is nouns and verbs, not their assistants, that give good writing its toughness and color." Second, the dialogue; the capitalizationa and punctuation thereof: "'Hello,' said John to the bluejay." "'Hello." John always hated talking to the bluejay." "'Hello,' said John to the bluejay, 'and how are you?'" "'Hello?' called John to the bluejay." Also, it is always a good idea to use periods at the ends of your sentences. Capitalization is usually very useful, especially in proper nouns like the names of your characters, and well-used commas make everyone happy. The thing is, all of this could be easily fixed with a quick run-through. I understand if it's fun to write and you just want to get it up and get the reviews, but please please please care enough about your work to make it look professional. It has a lot of potential. Ugh, I very much hope that I didn't sound super-bitchy. It's just that I feel that this fic could be very good if you get past the grammar.
Jabberwocky 101 2008-01-02 ch 7,	abuseThis is good. I like it. You have a good style. Keep up the good work!
CarlyJo 2007-12-19 ch 7,	abuseWeird as this is to say, i like it! UPDATE SOON! ~Carly
JtheChosen1 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abuseo hot indian sex! plz update soon, ur story is really good!
lillcat 2007-10-13 ch 7,	abusehey there^^ that story of yours is super cute. a bit simple but stil^^. wind has a family and a home and he is just fine with beeing kiddnaped? he exepts his fate a little bit too easy, neh? anyway, i like the characters and i had fun reading the story. i hop you go on writting,m looking forward to it. big smile and thank you!!
DiamondKing 2007-09-08 ch 7,	abuseI love reading this story; the idea behind it is very original and its just so...cute! Sorry I can't say more or anything "critical" since I'm short on time but I just wanted to drop this review to show my appreciation for an enjoyable story! -DiamondKing
Esquirella 2007-09-06 ch 7,	abuseI can't believe I missed these chapters but am REALLY glad I've read them now! I can' hardly wait for these two to get toether! (Ick, that Sturdy Plant is a monster!)
kiki 2007-08-18 ch 7, anon.	abusejust checking if u r updating
Amerez 2007-08-13 ch 7,	abusecute story. It's hard to find genre slash stories...please update soon!
Lynda 2007-08-07 ch 7, anon.	abuseI'm really enjoying this story alot, good theme and feel for the time and place, interesting characters too. Well done, can't wait for future chapters.

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