Usually I try to stay away from things that pertain to God or heaven or religious stuff (we'll just overlook my story 'Heaven and Hell' shall we? Good.), but I like this. It's interesting. But what's with the key bit. I'm curious about that. And Yallekia sounds like a ** and "Him" sounds like well... I don't like him, lol. Seems too 'bow down to me or I'll totally have my daughter kick your **'. That could just be me though... And the heaven... kind of creepy. Then again I always considered something that was paradise and "perfect" creepy (my little "happy" place in my mind, you know the place they tell you to go to meditate or whatever, was always attacked my ninjas in black). Way to Twilight Zone for me thank you. Anyways this is interesting. Hope to read more soon.

oh bugger hehehe very good keep up the good work (write chapter 4).

i think this hole story is brilliant n so r the ovas so keep it goin

always end a chapter with the words "oh bugger", it brightens it up a notch. very good, especialy the part about a manic hand-dismembering killer! w00t again!

This one's a little shorter because there's not much i could crteaque (is that spelled right?) I thought this chapter was really cool, and i expecially liked it when she looked through the wall at the person. Keep up the good work, it's on my favorite stories list.

Mwahahahaha

i luv your story dark yet funny i was chocking on my own blood should be upsettin but it made me laugh out loud

i like the idea of gd not being all goody two sjoes..gtg got an apoinment with a mister lucifer Satan Beelzebub!

Very good potential. I thought that the first chapter started off the way that it should, not to slow, not to fast, and I can see a lot of potential in the concept. My suggestion is to not make it really religious because some people of different religions might get a little tired of reading about a "different religion." I once read a story with a different religion premise then mine and that was how i felt. If you have ever read The Wish List, by Eoin Colfer, he exicuted that perfectly with nothing really religious. I can kind of see though the story line a bit, though i see through those all the time, but if you can think of a good plot with a lot of twists, and you'll blow your readers away.Awesome writing.Keep up the good work

very good i like the idea of sniffer dogs...but no drugs in heaven! id rather die! wait a minute...

yay! graphic violence!