Rather different from your other poems, and although i do like it, it doesn't really work in some places, like the first seven or eight lines which sort of stagger. i love you!

You've got a nice style going. Smooth irony; it works well in this piece. Keep it up.

This was pretty good. It has a nice flow to it, but maybe you could mix up the word choices a little, just to make a more interesting read.

Very well written.