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| Sarah-Brighteyes 2006-12-10 ch 1,  | abuseHm I think we all feel like this at one point or another in a spiritual way. We crave something deeper than the average life. We want to be something or have some relationship with a higher power or being or something. I love this. You arent a martyr, but its almost a craving to be one. beautiful... dark... the tone is very urgent... good. |
| sporkofdoom 2006-11-20 ch 1, | abuse"sacrifical in that they have met yours." Such lovely, raw images of obsession. |
| Ellin Louise 2006-03-29 ch 1, | abusepowerful writing. |
| Ajna 2006-03-26 ch 1, | abuseHoliness is overrated. But great poem, I loved it. |
| she wants revenge 2006-03-15 ch 1, | abusestrong, beautiful. brilliant. loved it. |
| the naked civil servant 2006-03-01 ch 1, | abuseso longing & desperate & sad. i think this may have to be my favourite. it's so bittersweet & broken &... genius. i swear. |
| beti213 2006-02-19 ch 1, | abuse"hips that are sewnwith round bone and redred blood- sacrificial in that they have met yours." that's my favorite line here, along with the last, of course. you have a talent for masterful endings.I was a little confused with the mixture in themes between religion and the thermal energy piece. I think you lose a little there. otherwise, I love it all. well done once again. |
| Susie Mango 2006-02-17 ch 1, | abusethe loved the lines "of hips that are sewnwith/round bone and red" (i have a bit of an alliteration fetish) i'd most definitely get rid of the very last line...i'm sure it seemed clever at the time...and it is good word play... but it is not pulled off well and instead seems rather pretentious |
| lackluster 2006-02-17 ch 1, | abusethe imagery is conclusive and overall amazing. at first, i didn't think the last line fit very well, but re-reading the poem, i changed my opinion. |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-02-17 ch 1, | abuseVery vivid. Very moving. Delicately well written. |
| chaos called creation 2006-02-17 ch 1, | abuseFlawless imagery. Perfect ending. |
| crazy dog events 2006-02-17 ch 1, | abusethe last line didn't seem to work, even though I appreciate what you were trying to do. The rest of the poem, however, was quite lovely. I loved the second stanza, and the imagery of the very first few lines of the poem. Great work. -pictographic.love |