Reviews for An Unlikely King - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: An Unlikely King - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

mell8 2007-11-01 ch 18,	abusePlease, please, please update this story! You've left it on a huge cliffhanger and I'm dying to know what happens. Will Syos/Seom ever reveal himself to Trillan? What will Nadan and Krisiana think when they find out he's a noble? Will Trillan ever catch him? Will the rogues ever be caught? Am I sensing something besides camaraderie between Trillan and Syos? There's so much more to finish and so many questions to answer. Please think about posting more!
Kier Haliana 2006-12-24 ch 5,	abuseI found a few mistakes in this chapter. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned them yet. ie: “You have my deepest apologies and my promise that when we capture this thief I will retrieve you necklace for you.” The second you should be 'you' You kept writing "bust" instead of busy. There were a few others that were there but if you reread through the chapter then you'll find them. Other than that, it was great. -Kier Haliana
Kier Haliana 2006-12-24 ch 3,	abuseI think it's interesting how the other thieves and pickpockets don't realize that Syos is the king. Anyway, it was a good chapter. You described things weel. I'm a little envious about how you describe actions. I've been having problems with that lately. -See ya! Kier Haliana
Kier Haliana 2006-12-24 ch 2,	abuseHeh, Syos is a slippery one. It was another well written chapter. It kept me entertained. You have great story lines, by the way. -Good day Kier Haliana
Kier Haliana 2006-12-24 ch 1,	abuseIntriguing. There were a few commas that could be added but nothing major. The chapter is well written. Now I'm off to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
FXRG 2006-06-21 ch 18,	abuseOoh...evil plotting person...XD I look forward to his scheme in action. As much as I love Syos, I love the scrapes he gets himself into. And still the person he favors hasn't come into light; I'm really excited about when that actually happens. :D "...allow neither the rogue thieves nor not even the Guards..." The "not" doesn't look like it belongs there. ^^;
FXRG 2006-06-17 ch 14,	abuseThief King = Syos = Seom...? XDDGetting better and better.
FXRG 2006-06-15 ch 12,	abuseWhoa, things just became even more interesting. Now I'm really curious about Syos' past/background. And I wonder who exactly it is he favors.Thanks for the quick update, by the way. :3
warnthepenguins 2006-06-14 ch 1,	abuseI come bearing a cartload of commas! Use them as you will. Dialectical speech is a no-no, especially when you replace "not" with "nawt." That's not a big enough difference to commit to writing -- reading dialogue spoken by a whole-minded person should not make one imagine an imbecile with a cleft palate.
FXRG 2006-06-14 ch 11,	abuseOh, things are getting very interesting, and really messy for the poor king. I really look forward to Trillan and Syos' meeting. :3
demiXgod 2006-06-12 ch 7,	abuseoh that was unexpected! there's a plot twist i didnt foresee at all. I like the system the thieves use, too, since they're way more organized than typical theiving guilds are. Trillan's made a fair number of mistakes in this chapter (like the one at the end, mostly :P ) but I'm sure he'll wise up sooner or, well, later. Syos is still the best.
Telephonic 2006-05-23 ch 8,	abuseWait...so they're all on the same side now? 0_o BUT I LIKED THEM AS ENEMIES! Trillians still great. Finally theres an 8th chapter! Gawd! I've been waiting since...the last chapter! xD.
Telephonic 2006-04-15 ch 7,	abuseagrees with DNAngel comment Thats what I thought when I started reading this.
Eva 2006-04-08 ch 7, anon.	abuseI love ur story! ^^ Syos kinda reminds me of Dark from DNAngel ^_^ Great characters, and word choice. There was one mistake i saw... but i got so enthralled with the rest of the story that I lost where it was >.< Can't wait to read more!
demiXgod 2006-03-30 ch 5,	abusepretty good. the fifth chapter had a few typos and misspelled words like pale (plae), teal (teak) i think, and also: "Trillan bowed to her before entering the room and TAKING a seat across the table from her. " ~ chapter 4. Syos is still my favorite. good chapter(s)

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