amazing how you can make the seasons sound so...humanly. it's romance at its best, somewhat an enemy-turn-lover story, no? XD

-trinity

Quite an interesting poem. I love the itlaics, the stuff in the parenthesis. I love the idea behind this. It's very original this poem and i like it.

I have no criticism, this is too perfect & beautiful. I love it. Oh so so so so so much.

I love the personifications,this piece was very enchanting and poignant. Great work and keep writing!

oh wow i havent read your stuff in ever it seems. really sorry about that. this is gorgeous. i really like it. i suck at criticism. i love the first stanza. and the second. hell, what am i saying? this is awesome. it's beautiful. you're getting better and better.

I admire this so deeply. you always read those winter is ending and summer is blooming poems, but you never read a poem PERSONIFIED on the subject. This was great. a kind of sadistic catch me if you can romantic tragedy out look. i hope you continue to explore such unique sides of poetry. Well done

'pasted' did you mean 'passed'?

*takes off spelling nazi hat* love it! I love how you can read the bracketed bits on their own, kind of. though maybe it could go like this: (he held her in his arms)(and she said 'i love you')(he told her he thought she was beautiful)(and he kissed her on the lips)(and pushed her gently ... )

But I could be reading it wrong. In fact, I think I was, in which case ignore me.

Loove!

Its cute. :D It kind of confused me what with all the parentheses and the slashes and all but it was nice. :D

I liked the thought. :D

Keep writing. :D

ohmygodahh.

that was beautiful. so beautiful, i can't even find appropriate words. i lovelovelove it.

I loved it!

It reminded me of some type of word-of-mouth story that gets passed down generation to generation and slowly changes from something it had originally intended to mean to something different with the (whispers of what if truly meant).

Wonderfully done! I truly enjoyed it.

what an interesting concept--lovely poem.

i like it! love the metaphor and the personification (wheehehe!) and i liked the ending - i don't think there's much to change there. just reading it through again, how do they keep dancing when winter killed summer? anyway i have a headache and i'm prob missing something,anyway lovely work sparrow. fly, fly away.

There is so much movement and motion in this. It is truly a wonderful concept to explore. You've done well here as this creates a silent reoccurring battle. Well done. As for the ending, perhaps continuing the action rather than summarizing the action, but it is lovely the way it is.

I like the ending as it is without the "in the few moments they have together." That part seemed kind of unnecessary (I mean, I suppose it's sort of obvious and the deadly dance is justsolovely that'd it be nice to end with that). This is cool as it is, but as a metaphor, it's even more awesome. Good work.

It's gorgeous. I have no criticism =)