Dude... that was just, totally... woah. I hate to speak in psudeo-lingo, but... wow. That's all I can say. Keep it up! Kudos to the cuz!

Yeah, I say continue it! I know it's not your usual but it's really going good and it would help to know what "G.D." stands for and what the book is.

A good second chapter, shows us exactly where this is going to go from now onward. Very atmospheric, I can picture the scene really well, but that might be more to do with certain horror movies then this...Well written as before. It might also be a little short but I think the consise style suits. Nicely done.

Well I'm interested in where this is going but to be honest it's too short to really get any feel for it at the moment, at least in the sense of what's happening. What's here is nicely done. A good opening, but it doesn't really give a sense of what you want to do with the story. I'm not really sure if that's a complaint since I start a lot of stories that way and some of the best stories I've read have started on a sibject compleately unrelated to the plot.

I like the mystery of everything, and the way you give just enough information to hint at what's to come and really caputre the reader's interest. YOu need to revise a bit, but overall the grammer was pretty good.