i read a bunch of your stories and didn't review. ur really good! i like your fantasy stories a lot, but i also like the nonfictions too.

keep writing!silently watching

Gah! I can't believe I have missed the first two chapters of a new story! I'm sorry!! *hugz* This is GREAT. The emotions are so powerful in this second one. Nice job...can't wait!!

Good day, again.

Right... the sentimentality was trite and much uncalled for. Since you hadn't really established a serious connection between the characters and the reader, Lola's death is rather meaningless. Made me bored... overused scenery... certainly didn't convey the right effect.

Try to stay away from cliched story lines and scenes.

I like the way you build your plot. Your characters are also distinct, which is a good thing. I would still like to know the general time period this happens in (well, technology being used)