 Colin 2006-03-11 . chapter 1 AMAZING. First off, no E's is a spectacular feat in itself. Good job. Your almost-rhymes and imagery is so vivid and intense, it reminds me of greats like Ginsberg. My only critique is that when you write (I read the explanation of the poem) be careful not to be too cryptic. If you hold it way above our heads we (the readers) will get confused. But, keep it up there like a catnip mouse. :) Just let us grasp those images every now and then.Hope this helps. |
 Zakiue 2006-02-21 . chapter 1I like it. It's hard to see past the words you chose. Don't get me wrong, great wording, word choice, whatever. But it's still a little busy. But...it works. I like it. Thumbs up! |