Eh, ''Victory'' is needlessly capitalized. Try ''Their armies were quite sizable, but he knew they needed to build up their ranks even further. He knew it was vital to build up their numbers, because they were microscopic in comparison to massive armies they were about to face'' instead of: The army appeared huge, but he knew that it was vital they built up their numbers, which were miniscule in comparison to the mass scale of armies they were to face.

Instead of ''subconsciously'', why not ''unconsciously''?

Otherwise, again, very interesting chapter, if a little on the short side.

Nice, but just a suggestions. While both parts were pretty well written, it seems like it would be better if you actually switched around the order of both sections of this chapter. Otherwise, very intriguing.

Thanks for the reviews.

i do like how your story is going, maybe on the second chapter, try to space it out more..it's more attractive and easier to read then.. good start keep goin

Good beginning of the story. Can't wait to find out more!

~Water*healer