nice story!
Good job..
Jaliy~

Lynne has a point at some times, but really, I feel like she's so stupid.

Why doesn't she listen to Denny?

But, even so, I can't help but like her, because she has flaws like a real human, though I guess that went out of her head.

Still Love your story... Keep on writing.

Okay, I like your story.

It really sets me on edge.

And it's inexplicable how I manage to continue to read, while I feel a great dislike for Lynne, and I had to endure her thoughts.

I started disliking her when she changed.

Ugh..

But I like how you formulate it, and I think that what you have done was necessary.

Amazing chapter. Amidst all the chaos, it's good to have something normal to hold on to. And oh wow i just realized that this story was completed 3 years ago.

i think both of them are a good fit. Denny seems like the only one who's keeping her grounded and she's probably the one to keep him sane, or atleast she used to.

Holy ** what did she get herself into.

:)

Ha. I really hope her new found power doesn't really get the best of her. But it's only normal that it does, even if it's only for awhile

“Just remember, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. And if you’re the one in the wrong, don’t be afraid to say you’re story. It’s the only wisdom I can think to give you.”

Jyeah i don't think her dad realises how effective those words can be and how it would playback when things ultimatey get worse.

This was a very riveting story! The theme reminded me of Tijan's "A Whole New Crowd" in a way, because it was about powerful high school students as well, but I truly enjoyed your piece!

Good luck with the re-write!
- Rebekah

Wow, that was such a gorgeously riveting story
i have just read it all in one sitting, well nearly, because when Lynne started to go bad and it didn't look like she would ever get back with Denny i was really miserable and i had to take a break, but then i had to start reading again because it was such a fabulous story
in the chapter, just after the funeral, i was so, so scared for their lives, it was the most intense thing! i love how you have the mob thing, it was so unique and unexpected. i love your writing style, i love everything! i would honestly buy this book if you had it published, i am just so thankful for this site that i get everything for free :)
anyway, i just thought i should tell you that you are absolutely amazing and you have such a gift. never ever become an accountant or some awful job like that because you are destined for so much!
xo

I read your story in 1 giant go. It was a very entertaining read, and over all quite well written. I hope you keep doing what you're doing! :)

great ending. I think that although the premise is a bit unbelievable, you make it seem as though it could happen. and you show how power corrupts, and how mobs and form and yeah... psychologically, this story actually seems pretty accurate.

I just can't believe that blackmail would go on like that, unchecked like that... but maybe given the size of the town and the circumstances, it would have been possible.

It's crazy how people have good intentions but do bad things, or how different people interpret different situations.

good work, I really enjoyed reading this. I think I was especially touched by the part about alice. I've known a few people who've committed suicide, and it's hard, because it's so easy to find people, even yourself, to blame.

I was impressed by your restraint in this story. you dropped pretty good hints throughout as to what was happening, like dana's pregnancy and the blackmail, and you started forming the character's personalities from page one, but you didn't reveal it all at once. your touch was subtle, and I appreciate that :)

good work writing this! i'm a bit curious how you thought of the idea. oh yeah, and sorry for overanalyzing and writing this huge review, haha. your story really made me think.

cute, I'm glad they are back together, and glad to see lynne back to her senses. I see some bad things coming up soon though... namely with sue.

thank god lynne helped jade! god, she was TOTALLY going the wrong way. I love the way you fleshed out all these characters by the way :)

oh lord, this cant end well.

hm... interesting. I'm wondering where they got all their money and respect, but they mention blackmail in this chapter, and I wonder ...

ooh! okay, so I really like this story so far. it has a very intriguing cast, and the plot is fascinating too. I also think you try your best to give your writing some "flair" and if that's true, I'd like to say that it's working. your writing is really good! i mean, you probably wrote this a while back, and your writing has probably improved, but for amateur writing on fictionpress, this is good.

I was totally intrigued when eva lied to denny about lynne going to the lake with them, but when I got to the end, I was like AHA, I GET IT.

I think they didn't want him there so that they could lie to lynne and break them up, right? they seem like nice kids, but they don't want lynne to be close to denny because they have a SECRET which they don't want denny to reveal.

that's my guess so far.

as to what the secret is... well, it probably involves kim, right?

and as for dana, I figure she's sick or pregnant... but other than that, no idea. her boyfriend seems to know something about julie though... speaking of julie, where has she been? well, off to read more!