A sad, but good, poem. The rhyming was perfect. I liked it.

You've caught the feelings of a tormented vampire just right. You should have a very good future as a writer.

This is really really good. Short yet powerful. Its so easy to visualise the whole thing playing workDana

Full of suspense, the words literally create blood and chocolate in my mouth. One as tastefull as the other.

P.S. Thanx for looking at my stories.

this may be taken from a couple of different views, but to me, this sounds as if you are a vampire remembering the day you were turned.

I like the sense of rhythm in this piece. The rhyming is not bad either - quite consistent rhyming without sounding unnatural, as though you simply chucked in any word just to make it rhyme. I also liked the description of "whirlpools of a deep black ocean"; it was really good imagery :)

But punctuation-wise: may I suggest changing the first line to "A ghost of myself; is that what I see?" I think it kind of enhances the rhythm.

Keep writing! :)