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Reviews For: Ghost

Sercus Kaynine
2007-06-10
ch 1,
abuseA sad, but good, poem. The rhyming was perfect. I liked it.
MrBillyD
2007-03-01
ch 1,
abuseYou've caught the feelings of a tormented vampire just right. You should have a very good future as a writer.
Embellished Heart
2006-03-01
ch 1,
abuseThis is really really good. Short yet powerful. Its so easy to visualise the whole thing playing out.Great work~Dana
angeloftheninthorder
2006-02-27
ch 1,
abuseFull of suspense, the words literally create blood and chocolate in my mouth. One as tastefull as the other.

P.S. Thanx for looking at my stories.
Jonathan Kimberley
2006-02-26
ch 1,
abusethis may be taken from a couple of different views, but to me, this sounds as if you are a vampire remembering the day you were turned.
Oriel Vaughn
2006-02-26
ch 1,
abuseI like the sense of rhythm in this piece. The rhyming is not bad either - quite consistent rhyming without sounding unnatural, as though you simply chucked in any word just to make it rhyme. I also liked the description of "whirlpools of a deep black ocean"; it was really good imagery :)

But punctuation-wise: may I suggest changing the first line to "A ghost of myself; is that what I see?" I think it kind of enhances the rhythm.

Keep writing! :)
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