i like your style, mate! xx

"Surely feeding the birds is not mischief, / At least they are not baking them." I like these two lines, but I must say that they seem kindof out of place and don't fit the flighty, mysterious, enchanting tone of childishness I feel through this poem.

But overall I like this poem, it's well-written. (:

(You're exodusfalls/Mike or something on LJ, oui?)

"Surely feeding the birds is not mischief,At least they are not baking them."

:( That totally burnt a hole through the mysterious, dreamy tempo of this childlike, luxurious fantasy ...

I really liked this poem - you've been on my author alert list for a long while but I haven't really read any of your poems..hmm. The nursery rhyme base lends a sense of quaint familarity to the poem, and truly fits your theme. Also, the repitition of words contributes to the "roundabout"-ness of the piece and the nature of children.

"Surely feeding the birds is not mischief,/At least they are not baking them." Haha! How true.

-Michelle.

hello i'm reviewing 'cos i don't want to be haunted by you. joke! :D that aside, i really like this piece more than any of your previous pieces.. i like your take on the familiar childhood song and how you've made the images and the erm characters?--that originally appear in morbidly funny scenarios in the song (oops)-- your own in the poem. yepps my favourite part is "The eternal sunrise gilds above their heads –/They are haloed for their aimlessness"...not too sure if i read it right but i think it's a really effective way of referring to the unworried freedom of childhood. ok this review is shorter than usual because i have to get back to mugging. do keep writing :D

Thanks for the reviews.

To Kelpylion: Indeed some of the elements in the poem draw reference to those two works. But more significantly, there is a relationship between them as rye was used to feed blackbirds - explaining the nursery rhyme as well. My view of childhood is that it is the most natural of all human stages of maturity, and the time when humans love to run about in fields and gardens - maybe an idyllic picture of childhood. Children seem to have a fascination with nature more than technology. Yet such innocence is often ignorance - no knowledge of the world outside ('The grass is too tall / To see beyond') and aimlessness. A slight sense of immaturity in thought is hinted in the last line.

All I could think was 'catcher in the rye' and 'baked in a pie.' Graceful, colorful imagery on its own...not getting any clear symbolic message from the birds or the rye, even though I think you meant there to be one, so I'll just appreciate that. Loved the sunniness and the movement of children and crows.

I just love it, that is all!xx.Pseu.Do.Nym.xx

@->>- a rose for you!

cool poem. i love the line 'the grass is too tall to see beyond; the children can only follow the blackbirds and their enchanting songs' good job :)~dropsofjewpiter~