It was a little jumbled in detail in the middle. The flow of events got lost during the dining. I was confused, was her bed in the drawing room where they ate? At first it seems like they were at a table, and then next thing I knew she was in bed. The detail, tone, and mood are great, just don't forget to go back and check for organization, clarity, and squencing. I look forward to reading more. I love the twist at the end of the chapter.

The lines on her face ware smoother and finer than the dust led one to believe.

You used ware instead of were in that sentence. It was a pretty good story all in all.

And what do you want if we can't critisize it? I'm sorry, but this is just so beautiful... It made me think. I can't offer any critisism. I can only say that it is simply wonderful and that I love it.