this is...quite simple...amazing. i can't get over it. not quite. ahgr.

I almost don't know why this is so splendid - but it is is is. I just know i couldn't have written it so marvelously that's for sure. The sense of time, of waiting and enclosure.. "five eternities" ?! what a perfect phrase!

mezzie

incredible style. loved it.

Interesting format. Sweet and succinct. Nice.

Hm, very interesting piece. I work with the elderly, so I think alot about time and how fleeting it is, and how we should think carefully about how we spend it.

I don't really care for the formatting in the "lady smiles" part. I find it unnecessarily jarring. But, it's your poem. :) and it's still very good.

interesting, nice breakdown in the middle

Although it's been said before... intersting format, and the first and last lines begin and end the poem perfectly.

intersting format.. amazing pice

Your format is just amazing. Intriguing beyond words.

I absolutely love this poem. the way you did the diced letters in parentheses is AMAZING. truly original. great job!

i am extremely glad that you've updated, your writing is just amazing. this, of course, is no exception. the format works very well, and all of this is just incredible. as always.

o i like the "five eternities" at the end... it's really nice :)

Interesting, this is very different and i have to say i love the format, well done!

How do you do that? You are totally out of this world. It just blows my mind.

~Shavo~

damask is such a pretty word, you make me love it.

that opening line is so strong and this whole thing just reminded me of walking into my grandmother's parlor, oddly enough. the ending is quite fitting, beautiful and 'spiritual'.

it makes me smile oh so bright.

~* noelle