i just have to say, I really loved your choice of vocabulary. It's really nice to know there are people out there that have more than a basic knowledge of the English language, and take advantage of all the splendiforous words we have out there. So don't change anything! I enjoyed this story immensely, keep on writing. :}

honorata

A couple of things before we get to praise. First off, and you aren't the only one who does this, you cannot breath. Breath is a noun, the verb is breathe. Don't forget to add the "e".

Or maybe I'm the only person anal enough to care. Oh well.

Second, you use a lot of very high language in this piece. A good vocabulary is great, but you don't have to use every synonym. I know English teachers beat the idea that repetition is bad into students' brains, but they lied. Repetition can be a good thing if used correctly.

Now that that's out of the way...

I do like the fact that it's a dream. I was kind of wondering at first why she was running so hard (though I got that he didn't love her) and I was slightly disappointed when he wasn't a murderer or something else like that. Granted, I'm a fool for the overdramatic, so maybe I'm just crazy.

But back on topic, I like the dream idea because it makes her running more metaphorical; she's trying to run from her own fears. I adore metaphors, and you used them well.

Overall, this was good. I liked it.

~andromeda311~

Wow, that was quite an amazing piece. I particularly enjoyed the descriptions of the emotions. Very vivid. I loved the piece as a whole, especially the ending; I could really relate.

~honorata

ps, thank you so very much for your fantastic review of Words for the Sob on iamtheloris, it made my day

Hey, that was pretty cool! I really love all of your detailed description, you described everything down to a science- I could practically see it all running through my head. And of course, I'm always a sucker for bluring the line between friendship and love in stories and poetry; you played out the theme really well. Is this a one-shot or is there more? Love to read more if there is. If you ever do, drop me a line sometime, would you?

i love this story! ^_^ great job! *thumbs up*

hope you don't mind these typos i noticed. just constructive criticism:

* my foot hit the pavement, they cried out -- feet; bec. you used they afterwards* making it hard to breath -- breathe* occasionl -- occasional* they way he looked so devestated -- the way; devastated* feebley -- feebly* thrashing -- trashing* the desperation, the despair -- ain't the two the same?* like the hopes i'd once had -- i once had* safetly -- safety* what i did every day -- "do" since it's everyday

but aside from these, your work is great! *going to my fave stories*

keep it up!