another one that is just about perfect- a twisting buildup to an absolutely wonderful ending. not just the end, dammit! everything

Sounds like every evening to me (except for the literal rain). This one is so muted and slow (neither in a bad way; such a good way *grin*). Perfect.

Smooches-CGUll_the_Wizpig

Lovely. I like the way that it isn't overly descriptive, but you still get the feeling across.

Beautiful use of enjambement and the subject matter so vague that it could apply to more than just one feeling or scene. To me the poem spoke of an apprehension, and the fact the narrator voices being 'unready' sounded ominous. This is a familiar scene that has become darkly atmospheric. Interesting use of alliteration, however, the word 'gradients' is unusual and may seem to be trying too hard to add weight to the poem? Otherwise not a bad poem at all.

M...It's almost exotic.

seems very everyday diary-entry like. a nice change from my usual reads. write on!

For being about a very average thing, verry nice and succinct. Good job.