i love his sense of humor! it makes this story all the more enjoyable! Your grammar is good with very minor mistakes (at least i've only seen one...) very, very good plot. Usually, these kind of superhero things get boring because the superhero always saves the day, but Captain Nine to Five is different because the hero's a desk jockey! He just does wat he think is right! I love this story! Write more!

I liked it! :)