Reviews for Rock castles - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Rock castles - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Femme de Dieu 2006-04-28 ch 1,	abuseThis rhyme-scheme is beautiful. (another over-used word like "love")...very evocative...there is that better? But oceans and castles being two of my most fav things in life and in poetry, (my own and others), of course this is going to strike a chord with me! "All that exploring with oarsonly led to the emptiest shoreswhere we layer castles thatwe won't ever live infrom rock that willnever give in." Those are the best lines for me. We work so hard only to find there's nothing upon the shore. And we use rock for our castles, thinking that will make it substantial. But then we are unable feel comfortable in them. Besides that content commentary... That whole part has a certain oceanic rhythm to it when read aloud that fits this peice perfectly. Like waves of the sea...which leads deftly into the second half of that stanza. Of course, your (nautically) and (naughty) has been reviewed upon enough. So very catchy that! Great job keeping the theme consistent throughout, and yet still coming up with an excellent ending. So many times our endings seem to fall flat after an otherwise engaging piece. (Or maybe that's just me...) Great job! But then, you already knew that!
Moondog Dozier 2006-03-14 ch 1,	abuse"Reminding myself-(nautically)-of the casual way-we rocked together;", such unique and vivid phrase work. Well developed and excellent imagery. Great write.
Dying Rose 2006-03-14 ch 1,	abuseThis is a beautiful, sensual poem. I love the metaphors in it and the word usage. You're one of the best writers I've come across on this site. Onto the favorites list.
A Painter of Poems 2006-03-12 ch 1,	abuseI feel like flaming you horribly out of my own utter jealously. Who in the world taught you to write like that? You're either ninety years old and filled with experience, or a literary genius. It was a beautiful metophorically woven piece, that left the audience with something to take away from the words. I love it. BTW, you're going on my fav. authors list (however resentfully)
mizu no kokoro 2006-03-11 ch 1,	abusewow, the imagery in this was fantastic. perhaps one of my favourites out of your poems~ awesome work keep writing!
frayedlifeforce 2006-03-10 ch 1,	abusethis is beautifully written. it had some wonderful images in it and i especially loved the last verse. well done.
are you from mejico 2006-03-09 ch 1,	abuseInteresting metaphor. has a nostalgic tone to it.
xHannahx 2006-03-08 ch 1,	abusei really like this, especially the last stanza and the use of the word "naughty" im not too sure why, but it made me grin. Han
thursdays and rain 2006-03-07 ch 1,	abuseooh.. love the wordplay.. just wondering, do really 'giggle'? o.O
AllyCred 2006-03-07 ch 1,	abuseI really enjoyed this, very sensual and had this sexy quality to it that really brought out the feelings of this piece, the imagery was great and i just love the way you meshed everything together, well done!
LavenderFox-Daisy 2006-03-07 ch 1,	abusethis is a great emotional bleed, so enticing with its devices, poetically and its meanings, moralistically; it's a great read and the imagery is just a great symbolism to the whole focus of the poem.
Calligrapher of Hearts 2006-03-07 ch 1,	abuseAw =o( Nautical references to anchor (if you'll pardon the pun)the ideas of lost love. Witty and clever, and a very interesting rhyming scheme. Nop-totch =oP! xhXix
Aquafied 2006-03-06 ch 1,	abuseand empty withonly seagull feathers.- i love your writing, just wow. it reminds me how close to water i am actually, lovely. (hah, actually when i was quite younger, i thought rape sounded like rake, so these people would be raked violently. hah, sorry, flashbacks.) seashores, delicious
Faithless Juliet 2006-03-06 ch 1,	abuseSo I really had the urge to paste the whole poem into this, but I thought that might be overkill. (Trashing and caressing you with every leaking wave.) This makes me think of blurring - your leaking wave - like two things blurring together to create something else - like when you mix blue and yellow, you get green. (All that exploring with oars only led to the emptiest shores) I like the detail of the oars, first off. It presents such an evoking image, rowing a boat is hard work, it’s that presence of being in the moment to move yourself along with one’s own external strength, and then the internal deliverance of empty shores. You work your ** off to get something (or somewhere) and when you final get to the end there’s nothing there. Just emptiness. (Where we layer castles that we won't ever live in) This made me think of the palace reference that you made in one of my other poems. There’s something so very euphoric about castles/palaces (dream like maybe?) even sandcastles; it’s a whole community of lives that don’t exist anymore. We as people are too spread out to ever confine ourselves to villages or tiny homes save inside city walls with a castle looming in the background. There’s something magical about thing thinking of it though. (The tide has raked her foamy fingers down the side of my face) I love the imagery of that. It makes me see scars on your face, but foam is so soft and (foamy) it really was a powerful comparison. Like she as a person is calming but the things she does are so violent they leave marks. Reminding myself(nautically)of the casual waywe rocked together;remaining here(naughty)-I like the (Nautically) and (Naughty) parts. I like to use that method of playing with the eye, the mind, and the senses by doing that. It’s like you see it with your eye so strongly that it makes all the other senses stand up and react as well. (And empty with only seagull feathers) This really made me think about the place where I grew up, which may be really off topic - but I grew up in this really wooded back roads town and it was about thirty miles away from the coat and when I was about ten seagulls started showing up, which was really weird. But they had actually developed the coast so much that the seagulls had no other choice but to move inland and now we have seagull communes (with little bird condos, and retirement homes) it just made me think of that. Very nice; it’s very ethereal in the way it flows as a whole. Keep up the good work. Much love,Juliet.
she's not breathing 2006-03-06 ch 1,	abuseoh, pretty. i love the metaphor. ~kait

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