|Reviews for For Those Waiting|
| RuathaWehrling 3/7/06 . chapter 1
Hi K! I like it! Here are a couple of comments for you:
1.) This line sounded off to me, and it was a little confusing: "Those that for her do cry?". Take a look and see what you think.
2.) In the ending, for lines like: "Oh, my loves, yet do you weep?", I'd suggest altering the order of the words to: "Oh, my loves, do you YET weep?". It sounds more natural that way, at least to me.
I really like the echo technique at the end. It came out very well. (And I know what you mean about FP screwing up your formatting! GRR!) Lovely poem! Keep it up! -Ruatha
| Drops of Jewpiter 3/6/06 . chapter 1
great poem. i love the stanza 'do you rise again within me...ever-distant sons' good job ;)dropsofjewpiter
| SilentRiver 3/6/06 . chapter 1
I like this, it has a more obvious rythm than your "songs", and it comes together nicely...
| Kartoffel on Canvas 3/6/06 . chapter 1
its similar to that poem "uphill" by Christina Rossetti. I like this style though! i like the waiting feeling it actually portrays, in that its theme is waiting, and it is enhanced by the fact that the whole poem you feel like youre waiting for an answer to the questions you have asked. Great work! keep writing!
| The Chocolate Fudgey 3/6/06 . chapter 1
So poetic! It sort of reminds me of me talking to myself...don't ask. I don't know how to explain it, but I love it!