FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| perpetual questions 2007-05-14 ch 1,  | abuseWonderfully written. Good work. |
| luv me like no other 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseWow, this piece is really powerful. |
| a lonely september 2006-03-08 ch 1, | abusewow. . . you are an amazing writer. |
| hannah 2006-03-08 ch 1, anon. | abuseI absolutely love how you described her movements, and the knife, and the blood, omg. I love the Fragile Fibres alliteration. And how you brought in the baby!I think the way you've been writing is sorta abstract, like, not direct. So as you continue writing don't stop the imagery or switch to straightforward narration - It'd spoil the mood and effect set by the first few paragraphs. I suppose I can't really say more since I don't know where you want your story to go, but just know that this writing style is beautiful, and keep it consistent throughout (: I hope that helped! |
| Beautifula 2006-03-07 ch 1, | abuseIt's a good start but I can see where your stuck. Perhaps you could go back into the past a little and explain who she is or what her life is like. Good luck! |