very cute! a very good spin on the story we all grew up with i can't really think of any critism if you had spelling mistakes the story was so good that i didn't notice them keep up the good work!

What?

The End? That's not fair I wanted it to keep on going, not fair at all. So now I am mad at you, and that's usually not a good thing. But because I'm nice I promise I wont hurt you so long as you write a sequal (or however you spell that). I think that's fair enough, don't you?

~florida

WoW!

My eye brow is raised in question right about now. Cav is abviously not worried about being too forward, and I'm surprised she even let him take her hand to begin with! Well your wirting is always full of surprises I should have expected it.

Anyways on to the next chapter!

~florida

Hey this is GREAT!

Your characters are always so amuseing especialy this one, Calven (sorry if I didn't get the name quite right). Anyways I love your wirting so much and can not wait until I am able to read the next chapter!

~florida

e!! I love happy endings! :3 this was a great story! I really enjoyed it!

*applause* YAY!! Cool. I LOVED the twist at the end, how the sorcerer really wasn't all that bad, how Cavalon is also a sorcerer, how Xylia manages to live happily ever after...

*nods* cool. I was glad to be of service (whatever help it was) in reviewing this story.

Over and out,

:D CD

very inventive story and great ending. you should write some romance stories. i feel that you would excel at those kind of stories

Great! great! Keep it going.

teehee. their so cute together. ^_^

My original review had a few minor nitpicks but it got deleted so I'll just give you the important ones that I don't know if anyone covered.

First, there seems something a little off about the voice of the narrator. Not so much that its modern (which threw me off slightly at first) but the way its modern. Normally, modern just means being really inside the protagonists head which can be a good thing. I'm not sure how to explain this, but she sounds like a teenager with modern social attitudes. I'm guessing this world is mostly medieval so it makes no sense for her to know how to read and right, nor does it makes sense for her to hate dresses.

Also, the story has a tendency to skip alot. In the first chapter, you went through a whole lot of events without really giving any detail. For instance, at the end you said the wizard gave a healing spell, but never told the reader what that would look like. I like to have a little bit of what a place looks, feels, smells like.

Also, I don't know if she'd be beatiful or not. Guys (trust me on this one since I am a guy) rarely fall for girls without a figure. Although we're not all brutes, a girl with a very pretty face might be considered pretty. But without a stick like body she would never turn heads. That would be true more so in medieval cultures, because back then people liked women to be more...curvacious. If you look at early rennaisance artwork, you'll see women that almost look pregnant just because of the preferences of the era.

Hmm...I think thats what all my criticism is. I like the story, and the take seems very interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more.

hmm... aww... i like the mysterious man.

I just hope he is exactly who he seems to be...

:) CD

oh.. -giggles- romance a-bloomin! me thinks. :3

This is great!

This new character is very interesting, and the discription when he was swinging from the book cases reminded me of my little sister. It seems the beauty/beast isn't the best with lieing.

Well anyways I can't wait until you post the next chapter which better be soon!

~florida

Oh, great! I can't wait for more.

"their child was going to be beautiful when they grew up"--'child' is singular and 'their' is plural. I would suggest 'she' instead of 'they'.

"Anyway, I come out, got presented, danced with many eligible suitors (not one of them I remember)."--You 'come' should be 'came', and you need the word and before 'dance' since it's a list. Also, I would recommend 'which' instead of 'them'.

"He spoke with a healed whole tongue."--Comma after 'healed' to seperate the two adjectives.

Did I forget to warn you that, now that I have permission to "pick", I'll pick more? :)

I like the premise of the story, but I'm not too sure about the narrator's voice... It seems too modern for the setting. Also, I found it unusual that she's considered "beautiful" when she has no figure...?

Off to work - I'll read more later!