The violence was heavy and descriptive. Loved it. Could've been better had your described an abundant amount of gore but...nicely put.
However, your grammar's icky.

OMGi love this onex

tis really emotional and u can see it allyou prtrayed it really weell

and ur words magical

x

It's very raw, which gives it that quality of making someone almost feel what they're reading. Very good work. Keep writing!

~j. lynn

WOW!! Most poems that talk of morbid thoughts, tend to play to long on the mind, bringing down hopes, bringing on depression. Though my mind doesn't read this way. This poem is a story that speaks it's truth, reminding me that there is a cycle, and thus forth fate's defeat. Beautifully written!

Excellent rhyming!! And I really like the ending. "the future will come and stay in the past." was a really thought provoking line... I would say it's deep but whenever I say that it makes me sound shallow, ha. My favorite line was "i keep the gin straight, point aim and killing" I just love the "gin straight" part! Brilliant. Awesome work, keep writing! (And l.o.v.e the penname.)