hmm. the final thought thing is kinda random

Beautiful and haunting. :)

Oh no!

I didn't mean to say that, pay no attention to the last comment!

I should have logged in so you can delete it...

My deepest apologies, nobody should have the end of such a good story revealed.

I feel like such a sh*t head...

So much that I can't even bring myself to write my name...

Hmm... I hope you write a prologue.

Once again, it felt a bit rushed. Each time he confronts gale, I go away feeling like its missing something. My guess would be that you're not as comfortable writing combat scene's, but I was expecting at least a little mental ju-jitsu. Or at least drawn it out a bit. I thought for sure he would be trapped in his mind again, but this time realize it wasn't real and use that to win Matrix style.

I liked how you built gale, and what he is like in reality. However, if his guards were aware, it wouldn't matter if he died or not. They still would have shot, and probably shot Ben too. Of course, I would have liked it if Ben shot Gale right in the kisser. Oh well, your story:)

Over all a very impressive novel, a lot of very inventive ideas. The title finally made sense to me... very clever.

I know I've already commented on this chapter, but I'm rereading, and I have a question.

Marou, I pronounce her name: MAR(as in MARk)OO(as in tOO)

Is that right?

Or is it: MAR(as in MARk)OW(as in chOW)

I'm pretty sure its the first one, but anyway...

I really like this story, it is... I can't describe it other than 'really good'

Mikel S.

...Wow... DANG!

A powerful, powerful ending.

I didn't understand why some parts were there, in this story... like Maggie. But otherwise... wow.

Over and out,

:) CD

...YAY! I WAS RIGHT!

Marou did WHAT?

This is gonna be interesting...

:) CD

Hi, its me, MadCat, I think that you're alive again, but I'm not sure. If you are, I have totaly lost track of where I am in your story and it'll take me months to catch back up with myself. Hmm... Just answer my one question (somehow); Did you come back to life 5 days ago?

Because I missed reading your stories, especialy Killing Me and Then the Phone Rang.

MIKEL S.

PS: I realy am going to have to read them ALL over again... NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! Or... if you do, let your faithful readers know so they don't suspect the worst.

neepies... great description... freaking awesome climax...

WANT MORE!

:D CD

NO DANGIT! wait. it's a LIE! It's FAKE! It must be! It's a psych-out!

...it better be...

:) CD

Just when he realized he was a GOOD GUY! He had to do something he abhorred.

Crap. Here comes the Wrecking Ball of Angst.

:) CD

EE! YAY!

I am VERY happy now!

*applause*

:D CD

oh. crap.

You know what I think? Maggie isn't real. She's some construct/possession of Gale.

:) CD

Wow, 3 chapters. Enough to make my head spin.

I think it would be cool if he tried to relate his experiences here with while he was still on Gale's machine. That was the only reality he knew, and this reality is different. Things like how a crush feels different, or something like that.

Other then that, an interesting read. A little fast maybe, but still interesting. Burdgoning love, aw. :)

I'm suprised Demitri didn't deffend Marou, or try to find out exactly what happened. He seems to care for her at least a little, and I think either he or Barclay would kick Ben's ass again.

Just a few things floating around in my mind. I liked how do did the emotions though, very clever. Well written as always.

- Timur

Now, Ben. If you could be this honest and this calm and this undefensive all the time, or at least most of the time, you would be SO much happier...

:) CD