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| SomethingSymbolic15 2006-03-27 ch 2,  | abuseWow, good second chapter! I didn't see any grammar errors, so that's a plus! It is kinda creepy that he's going to follow her home, though. Kinda like a stalker. Hm. Oh, well I think this is going to turn out good, either way. Can't wait for the update! God bless W4J |
| she's so hardcore 2006-03-15 ch 1, | abuseHmm...Okay, I'm gonna be awesome and give you constructive criticism. You definitely need a beta. Your wording needs work, it just doesn't really...flow. I can get the idea of writing from that form of first-person perspective, but it needs to sound more real. Again, it doesn't really flow. I hope this helps you out! ~j. lynn |
| Nanao Nagase 2006-03-14 ch 1, | abuseInteresting start. Taro must have at least some of his questions answered by the end of the next chapter, I hope...update soon! |
| SomethingSymbolic15 2006-03-14 ch 1, | abuseAww, how sad! The poor guy! I feel really bad for him...and that girl better like him back otherwise I'll have to hurt her...GOSH! ANYWAYS...good job, once again...I can't wait to see where this is headed! W4J |