It is an interesting style, but I like the change between the first and second, and then the reversal to the first style again. That creates a nice effect.

awesome! love the last line. love the title. just love it.

"you say this/truism/is unnecessary,/but i would/say anything/to keep you" is perfectish.

could tell, and i like it. it suits the poem, too.

"i will be the one to get away."

ah, blew me away. beautiful.