Hauntingly beautiful. I especially liked "I stagger through a lifeThat cannot be my ownYet I stand gazing overThe wreckage of a life on loan."

I hope that you always keep writing: you can write better than I because you can convey something that has meaning.

ah love.. that which drives us and inevitably destroys us. I may be love's **, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. this one was good as well, if a a slight bit verbose, which is ok, I myself digress a lot as well in my poems and songs.

Great work here! I like how you personified Pain to enhance the mood, and the imagery is amazing in this work. Your account says your thirteen, yet you do not write like one (At least I didn't hehe...). The only thing I can say that may be improved is that since the poem is very long, the rhyming scheme kind of gives it a droning feel. Long poems tend to go a lot better with variations between stanza(s) with different rhyming formats and none at all... as well as syllable count. Excellent work though!

~wow~ i feel amazed and i feel as if this poem took away my breath! you're thirteen and you write like a professional! shocking! you use all of these breath-taking words that most people never even heard, unless they listen to a conversation between two very smart adults! you, my friend, are a true writer, and it's so amazing how you can write like that! i am truely speechless this time, and i cannot express how i feel about your writing in so many words. I just love how you are, because, to me at least, you seem caught up in your own world, and you seem so magical and powerful. I really hope you keep writing things like this, ok? and im srry if it seemed like i rambled, although all of this still doesnt seem like enough words to express how much i admire you and your work! Simply astounding!

in your umm whatcha ma call it, you said please rand and r I think you ment read, sorry, I am not good at spelling or checking my mistakes either,

But on another note, I thik this poem is very well done, do keep writting

this was very heartfelt and touching, good work

keep writing!