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Reviews For: Sic Itur Ad Astra

Mlle Sara
2006-07-27
ch 6,
mm-hmm - guess who finally remembered the password to her fictionpress account! (& attempting to write fiction instead of poetry >_
hammielurv
2006-04-17
ch 5,
don't stop writing this fic. it's really good!
tepid sponge bath
2006-04-12
ch 4,
I absolutely love this story. The writing is so smooth, and what's been written so far makes me want to read more. Really good stuff. ]
criti-sized
2006-03-28
ch 4,
It's good.Seems to have a nice plot and many twists to come later.I guess I don't have to say update being that everybody else says that.
ShadowYellowEyes
2006-03-23
ch 4,
Whoa. I never figured on big hulking bits of metal coming into play. That's a cool twist, and you leave us with just a tantalizing bit of information on them. Nice.

And now the short clip from the previous chapter on the butterfly makes sense. The only danger here now is, what will you do for the remaining chapters? You have set a precedent with a short clip on the butterfly at the beginning of each chapter, and it wouldn't be right to suddenly stop with them. Format and design-wise, it's not such a good idea. Being a design student, I have been taught the importance of keeping consistency in even the chaos, so try to do something relating to butterflies at the beginning, or butterflies and her childhood at the beginning of each chapter, if at all possible. That's my basic suggestion to keep in mind.

Thanks for the review, by the way. ^_^ I'll probably end up emailing you anyway.

Until next chapter, ~Shadow
ShadowYellowEyes
2006-03-21
ch 3,
Ah, the plot thickens... The Boss comes into a compromising situation...

So, well rounded critique.

I do like the writing style, the prose, and how each chapter (full chapter, not counting prologue, I guess) has a short bit about the Butterfly, though I think that the second section could be lengthened to balance with the first chapter. This time it was just a short, little line that only told us about the Butterfly and Kim's eventual attachment to it, though all of that has to be inferred from the line (not always a good thing, to make your readers think for themselves. Some suggest making it clear to readers, sometimes some authors are purposely inconclusive and vague, but it has to be purposeful. Here, I don't think that it's necessary). The first bit about the Butterfly held emotion and personality, explaining about young Kim without actually saying anything. That is a very good thing.

The only thing that I might say is, how is this any different from all the other assassin stories that I've read? No offense meant, but just think for a moment. Keep me interested (just to keep in mind for the rest of the story), because if I've heard the story before, I might get bored (I being Random Reader). And bored readers mean no readers. To show you what I mean, I want to point to another story, with an assassin and a guy. It is a romance with the girl being incredibly physically powerful, and the guy is a tech expert, etc. But right now, it's different because the guy is also willingly an assassin (and not necessarily a tech expert). Therefore, I am interested in how this will turn out. See what I mean? I don't want you to get upset, just think about those things as you write and formulate the plot. ^_^

Until later (and keep it up, I really am interested, though from your profile, I should not be surprised if you don't continue it, huh? -_- Such is life.) and good luck in future endeavors.

~Shadow YellowEyes
anjil**
2006-03-20
ch 2,
Haha, sucka got served! Sorry, I had to say that because Kim just totally got screwed over. It made me laugh. And yea, I understand what you're saying about the characters. I've done that before ... and did I ever get the meanest, nastiest review EVER. Honestly, I wanted to kill the **. There's a right and a wrong way to go about things ... and she just seemed like the type of person who wanted someone to fight with. Who knows. I hope I didn't come across that way.

Anywho - I like Al. Even though I don't know that much about him, I just have a feeling that he's going to be pretty cool. Watch - you probably have him down as some two-faced raper man. Well, I'm going to shut up now.

-anjil
anjil
2006-03-18
ch 1,
Very interesting. I'm not trying to be mean in saying this, but I wasn't that sucked into it. It definitely sounds like something I would like, though, which is why it interested me so much.

I really want to read more, though. I don't entirely understand why she looks so different now. She kept her long hair, right? If she kept it then why does she look so different? Is her face messed up? I must know.

The reason I think I wasn't that sucked into it is because I don't really know the character and I usually have to know a character fairly well before I'm like "Yea, I need to know what's going on with Kim next chapter! POST! POST! POST!" The need to better understand her character, though, is making me want to read the next chapter. Pwease update!

anjil
Devidedistand
2006-03-18
ch 1,
Hm. I thought it was going to be kinda boring, but it really wasn't. It goes at a perfect pace, a very short first chapter. Keep the other chapters short as well (I assume this isn't the finished story).

Being a guy with raging hormones, I was expecting more from the part of her getting dressed. Oh well.

I don't know what you have in store for the rest of the tale, but I suggest keeping the short chapters, interesting dialogue and narration, and perhaps making it very mysterious without being too confusing. But that's just the way I would go.

I think you made a typo when you said, "I hope he didn't hope another job for me." Was it supposed to say I hope he didn't "have" another job for me?

Please read my newest story "My Dream" and tell me what you think, in detail. Thank you.
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