Reviews for Rose Beauty - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Rose Beauty

xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2006-11-20 ch 3,	o.0 Hope you update soon!!
xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2006-11-20 ch 1,	This was a good chapter. Beauty and the Beast was my favorite movie as I was growing up, alwayzz watched it. lol. Keep up the good work. XxTaylorXx
adnapusa 2006-11-20 ch 3,	First off, you shouldn't say, "I know it's kind of short and not that good" after every chapter. If you know it's short and not good, then fix it. don't make excuses. :] They have a cottage two and a half days away? Poor parents must have had an attrocious time taking two young girls there! "kitchen garden, and finally stood up and stretched her limbs, heading downstairs. She let herself out into the garden." Repeated garden. What is a kitchen garden, by the way? "..she wiped a streak of mud across her brow," For some reason I like that description. "All I know, is that sometimes people disappear, just vanish." End the sentance with disappear and start a new one with something along the lines of, "They just vanish." "Beauty! There you are!” her father cried, too agitated to be angry that she was in a stable. “There’s news that bandits are on the loose, so we should hurry to get to Drummerstown as soon as possible!” That seems forced. It's sort of like you added it just so the next chapter would be what it needed to be. Also, it was odd that the maid had an extra gun just laying around to hand out? I'd say that doesn't happen too often, whether bandits be the case or not. I do like where this is going though. I'm starting to see how the story plays in. :]
adnapusa 2006-11-20 ch 2,	Your characters seem really two dimensional. Their reactions are stiff and don't flow. I don't really get a feel of who they are. "Indeed, Iris had cried more in the past week than the sisters had ever seen her cry before." In the paragraph above you mention how they've never seen her cry. This statement sort of defeats the above one. What time setting is this in? I keep thinking it is old fashioned, but things like cabs and stuff don't really partake in that. Also, you never explained where they are going or why. And if you were planning on introducing their thoughts first and then the reason, the reasons should have been stated back after the coat room, not farther on in the story. This just makes it more confusing. Good luck!
adnapusa 2006-11-20 ch 1,	Reviewing as I read; "down at their little sister. Iris blinked down at her," Right off the bat I'm going to let you know repetitive words bug me. 'down at'. "It was only a month later that their mother died, of a fall off of a horse." It's worded weird. Try saying, From falling off of a horse. Why are all of the other sisters called by their first name, and Beauty by her middle? five and a half feet... haha. I'm five nine. :] The last portion is really confusing. I gather that they're at a party, but it's really scattered and sudden and you don't explain anything very much. Overall nice job. I look forward to reading more. care to R&R my story, Annemisu? :]
Fiorenza 2006-06-15 ch 2,	Poor Iris. I look forward to whenever you show a bit more of what happens.
haku is i 2006-06-10 ch 2,	i like it! please update soon!
Fiorenza 2006-03-18 ch 1,	An interesting start of a story. Should turn out rather well. Oh, and by the way, lilies remind me of Lily Evans Potter.

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