Reviews for ESPna - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: ESPna - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

the.pink.life 2006-06-08 ch 1,	Wow, this is a very complex poem, there's a lot going on in it. I like all the different strange images you're giving out. BIG WORDS! OMG, I just have problems getting through some of your stuff b/c of the word choices, lol. It's still great, no doubt about that, but for my little ol' mind, yeah, I have problems dissolving these things into smaller chunks. Keep writing! :)
Kusje 2006-05-16 ch 1,	There is alot of thoughts, and silent anger screaming in this poem. I like it alot. Mm, I did put "forever" in my poem for a reason -- because forever is only a simple 'matter' of time.. and thus, that is why forever seems to be always used between one and another -- but there in my mind, is never really a forever. But thanks for reviewing mine.
E.S. Lundgren 2006-04-03 ch 1,	great last stanza and word choice! you seem to really have a talent here.
Ajna 2006-03-26 ch 1,	I love this so much! It reminds me of The Mars Volta's work; it's so wonderful. Keep writing, you're great at it. :)
method acting 2006-03-23 ch 1,	Absolutly no dissapointing lines. Every bit was just as excellent as the last. Perfect and lovely in every way.
crazy dog events 2006-03-21 ch 1,	Beautiful, though it felt a bit thick at times. (she likes clean lines, even in her love of clutter) The first two stanzas were probably my favorite. -pictographic.love
My New Pen Name 2006-03-21 ch 1,	Amazing. . . It flows and trickles in sound, and forms such unique impressions and images in my mind! Beautiful, excellent use of adjectives and analogies, and original formatting and punctuation that makes it all the more powerful. Well done!
in theory 2006-03-21 ch 1,	I'm totally oblivious to the intended meaning in this, but some amazing lines "clots, curdles like a hypothesis in the fist-shaped silhouette" being a favourite. excellent.
Moondog Dozier 2006-03-21 ch 1,	Wonderful voice and the word usage-wow. This created such a portrait with the elevated language to enhance its depth. Excellent work.
eden is burning 2006-03-20 ch 1,	Incredible poem. Brilliant, original and generally just great. I loved it. x
Aquafied 2006-03-19 ch 1,	O-shapedmouths from whichthe rhetoric of-hard and coarse. i like it it is so specific and detailed. it blows my mind
Ashes.to.Acid 2006-03-19 ch 1,	Mew. This was interesting. ^.^ I like it! And thanks for your review. For a long hiatus..this doesn't seem rusty at all.
Kat-Renee Kittel 2006-03-19 ch 1,	"from which the rhetoric of Honour and Liberty leaps. Your vision is a dust-mite on the crimped eyelash of a Sixties clairvoyant, marring and strangely crucial." Being "intuitively sensitive" --hard to explain, but I found that the above relates to something I've been trying to put into words concerning several aspects of my life right now. "Like a Byzantine structure of anemic words my language crumbles" Very difficult to convey the exra sensory perception--input of the world around us...into words that make sense. "like a newborn’s pared carapace,raw and aflame from the friction" The only thing I can see about the line above is that it flows well without the word "like." But I don't see any reason to take out any other "like's" in the piece. Beautiful piece, rich with meaning between the lines. -Reni. ^..^
youzi 2006-03-19 ch 1,	to:whateveryouwant I do get what you mean...and I have to say I'm beginning to agree! Frankly I wrote this piece after a pretty long (by my standards) hiatus, which explains the rustiness and my lack of innovation in phrasing my ideas. I'm usually a lot more fussy about the syntax and the manner in which i bring across certain images, but I'm still learning and there's lots to learn!Do bear with me :D I'll try to be more interesting (though not more interesting than I really am, of course) in future!Thanks for the constructive review!
eighteen hundred 2006-03-19 ch 1,	My opinion is, this is a very good piece. A suggestion might be to look at your adjectives/descriptive phrases (Yeah, I'm eloquent) and stop making them into metaphors so obviously. What I'm trying to say is, instead of saying "like a hypothesis" and "like a new born's pared carapace" maybe come up with more interesting ways to get the image across. That is, the images the words themselves provoke are wonderful, just very very good, but getting to them gets a bit redundant? Am I making sense? I'm afraid that I'm not, so I'll shut up and stop trying to be cool and literary for now. This is an excellent piece, I'm thinking, and I'll probably read more of yours at some point, when I'm coherant again.

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