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| DarkStarPhoenix 2006-03-31 ch 2, | abuseHey, great story! It's written from first-person perspective, which is new, but there you go. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE WRITE SO WELL?!?!?! Was the guy in the scroll the one who is HOT? DSP |
| Fiorenza 2006-03-21 ch 1, | abuseUm. . . you know that your story is completly confusing, don't you? It's all run together and the thoughts don't seem to flow very well. If you could make it a little clearer read and easier to see when on paragraph ends and the next begins and the little things like that it should be fairly interesting. |