wow that was cool. i can almost hear the music to this as i read it! great work!

SarahJane

graphic. nice. the line "Girl, I'm losin' you" sounds like what a doctor would say ("We're losing him!"), and doesn't seem to fit with the whole idea of letting a person go. Then again, might be purposely losing a person. Would suck to purposely lose a child in a mall. Would be mean. Anyway, this was a very good piece. would be an awesome music video too. -md-

damn, that is one powerful piece! keep up the great writing!

Awesome song, we should put music to it and record it!