i love this... great job on it...

Very nice imagery. The rhyming doesn't sound overly forced, which is nice. I am curious to know why the rhyme scheme isn't constant, but don't worry: it's not a major distraction or anything. All in all, nice job. Keep writing!

This was really good. It has a feeling of a regret at the same time of desire. Almost like she feels bad for what she is going, but it's the only way they can truly be together. Anyway nice work.