FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Draketeeth 2006-03-21 ch 1,   | I can totally picture this being a song. It almost sings itself to you. Something with a rock beat to it. I like what you say in this. It inspired me. You've got some nice imagery in it. "to the bones showing through our skin" I can picture that in my head. The lines: "pulled taut and made pale by lack of / lack of this, that / lack of feeling" Were kind of trippy to read over. You may want to re-word them. |