FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| jennyb5683 2008-08-05 ch 5,   | it was an okay chapter though I think he should have stayed and fought his battle for himself and not let the other guy take the beating. |
| jennyb5683 2007-10-18 ch 4, | OKay all in all the story was okay. I mean it was sad ow you just ended it that way but I think it was a good ending. |
| jennyb5683 2007-10-18 ch 3, | OKay Kadin is ticking me off. Same one right the one with Ace. He needs to die you need to end his life and soon before I do. |
| jennyb5683 2007-10-18 ch 2, | you know you just have a way of bringing reality in your stories, like when the guy tells his son that he could die at anytime and he gets stabbed. Love the chapter |
| jennyb5683 2007-09-13 ch 1, | Snakes I hate Snakes. Other than that I loved it which I love all of the stories you write. |
| An Inside Joke 2006-03-22 ch 1, | Nice ending note. YOu needed to revise- present tense is hard to write in, and although you only slipped into past tense a few times, it would be easier on you as the writer and on all your readers if it was in past tense, since that's the standard. I also might suggest that you remove the all-caps- it shows that the charecters are shouting, but it's not necessary and detracts from the words because all-caps are distracting. |