Reviews for Crow and Coal - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Crow and Coal

Moondog Dozier 2006-03-31 ch 1,	abuseThis really presents a well detailed description of constant progression, and the individual in societies continuation. Well developed work.
TinuvielDork 2006-03-28 ch 1,	abuseYou write very unique poetry. I don't think I've ever read anything quite like it. I enjoy reading it; however, it's a bit wordier than what I usually read. But whatever works for you works, and there's no changing that! I like the way you use a lot of metaphors - it adds a type of grace to your poetry. Your words flow well. My favorite part of this poem was the third stanza "Horizon pastes itself all over the windows...follow the dawn, be prepared to disarm." You have some beautiful imagery in there, and some wonderful emotions. Please excuse my awfully long review! I do enjoy reading your work. Much love...TinuvielDork P.S. Thanks so much for the review!
Ajna 2006-03-26 ch 1,	abuseGreat poem, I enjoyed reading it. I especially like the first line and the last stanza. Well done.
mez lavenderfoxdaisy 2006-03-25 ch 1, anon.	abusethis is really reeking opf philosphical one to be admired, it has its own theoretical standpoint whihc makes it shine
myno 2006-03-25 ch 1,	abuselove the last stanza.
White Tea and Ginger 2006-03-24 ch 1,	abuseLOVE the last stanza. Brilliant.
Faithless Juliet 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abuseTasty isn't the same thing as tasteful (COOL), every stretchmark (I LIKE YOUR USE OF “STRETCHMARK”) in the cosmos rewrites it in cosmetic declaration. A whole gallery of early-risers (THE GALLERY OF EARLY RISERS IS INTERESTING TO ME; LIKE I‘VE BEEN GETTING UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING EVERYDAY FOR OVER A YEAR AND NOW EVEN WHEN I HAVE THE DAY OFF I STILL WAKE UP AT 4, IT‘S MY INTERNAL CLOCK, IT NEVER SHUTS DOWN BUT I LIKE IT WHEN IT‘S DARK AND EARLY MORNING AND NO ONE ELSE IS UP, THINGS SEEM MORE ‘ALIVE’), their every word and thought needing perception (AGAIN I LIKE THE REPRESENTATION OF THEM AS A GROUP, WITH WORDS AND THOUGHTS THAT NEED TO BE SYMBOLIZED.) [SORRY IF THE ALL CAPS BOTHERS YOU, BUT IT‘S EASIER FOR MY THOUGHT PROCESS AT THE MOMENT] We are the spawn of a desire - I DON’T THINK YOU MEANT THAT IN THE WAY THAT I TOOK IT. (ok I‘m ganna stop that now) It always bothered me when people said that God created them or what have you; like I remember someone asking me where I “thought” I came from - and keep in mind that I’ve always been a very forthright person but I said: “My parents had sex!” I think we all come from the climax of a sexual encounter, it’s just the only beginning that’s made since to me. There's crowing and calling to rise and shine - makes me think of farm life. The gas replaces coal and wood, just how it is. - I really like the sass of “just how it is” but also the gas FACT, so true. But what will replace the gas when it’s all gone? In Washington we have to have Burn Bans a few times each winter where people can’t burn wood in their fireplaces or anywhere else because it pollutes the air too much, and if you get caught you have to pay (more money then you should) but we only had a wood fireplace growing up, but we also had an abandon car lot about a mile up the road and we would go and steel the tires and cut them up and throw them in the fireplace (this is when I was really little and we didn‘t have much money) but it worked really well. I want to be remembered by the hollow slap of throat on wood (AGGRESSIVE), pen to paper (FEEL YOU ON THAT), heart to heel (MAKES ME THINK OF THAT SAYING, HEAD OVER HEELS.) This is really good, I very much enjoyed, kind of how things change and rearrange themselves over time. Like the issues are the same but the reasons behind them are always different. Much love,Juliet.
breezy nostrils 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abusei think there's something wrong with the author alerts. anyway,really thinky poem. sorry, no thinky comment to go along with it. haha. currently running away from some essay that's due tomorrow. maybe i should just get it done and over with? wow all of my comments were unrelated to the actual poem. every stretchmark in the cosmos rewrites it in cosmetic declaration. - i love this line, it's so philosphical and never thought of it that way. teasing between hills with open-shut arms. - that line also caught my attention. a lot of great lines in here. keep on going (of course you will either way)
chaos called creation 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abusei love the word play in this and the little contradictions in between. great wording. the word 'heel' placed at the end bugs me for some reason though. probably because you started off with a great line in the last stanza 'hollow slap of throat on wood' (which is my favourite line in this) to something simple. that's my crit anyways.
Calligrapher of Hearts 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abuseMe-THINKS this be about life experiences. And if I'm right, YAY! =oD It's brilliant! If not... it's still brilliant! xhXix
Aquafied 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abuseTasty isn't the same thing as tasteful,-absolutely delicious you are in these metaphors. it makes me want to swim until i can no longer actually, to go and go, to struggle, but there are different ways to become exhausted. anyhow, it actually reminds me of how contradictory life has become.
xHannahx 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abusei like! specially the final stanza, its forceful and gets the message across. nice job. Han.
Lovetress 2006-03-23 ch 1,	abuseThis is absolutely beautiful writing. You are talented.

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