Quite interesting, is it done yet? Or doyou have another chapter- Chapterz are a bit too short, i suggest proofreading for grammar mistakes. GJ

Awesome update! I still love this story--completed yet, or do you still have more to go? Only thing I noticed was a couple punctuation issues, and the Janet/Janice inconsistency. Other than that, keep plugging away, please.

I'm really enjoying this--the one thing I have an issue with is the paragraph formatting, which makes it a bit difficult to read--but other than that, this is fundamentally a very good story. Please continue!

Hi all, thanks for the reviews so far. I'm sorry about the long delays between the chapters, but I've had a lot on my plate and have recently started a new job. However, I now spend an hour every morning writting, so I will be updating at least once a week from now on. The next chapter will be quite graphic, I'll try and keep it within the rating of this story, if not I'll have to increase the rating.
Next update will be next weekend, till then,
EJ

sorry about that i was trying to make a heart sign ♥

nice story &hears;

The word "village" seemed particularly antiquated, which may or may not fit with your setting, I can't decide. The chapter had a sort of surreal feel, although in the Christine portion of the chapter I couldn't figure out where they were or what htey had to do with anything. Try to lenghten your one-or two sentece paragraphs to make them more readable.

this is an excellent story so far. i cannot wait to read the next chapter! xoxo ♥

pretty good start. There's a bit of a risk that the story could get a bit melodramatic, but the opening was short enough that it worked. For future stories, try to describe settings and charecters a bit more, but for the tone of this first chapter, but you have is good.

An interesting begining. I like how you repeat the first sentance again for the last sentance. I look forward to more.