FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nobody-n-Particular 2006-07-13 ch 1,   | Nice alliteration, confident voice. |
| ossining 2006-07-04 ch 1, | Another great poem. (But I didn't expect any differently. :D) I especially love the alliteration at the end. Alliteration and figurative language are my friends, and they are yours, as well. Keep writing! :) |
| Spare Change 2006-06-24 ch 1, | powerful. that's the most i can say. as a school of thought, i'm not a big fan of psychoanalysis, although it's a bit scary what one sees in another's unconscious :D i think this poem captures that concept. |
| mistressKC 2006-04-11 ch 1, | good choice of words, it makes me, as the reader, conjure up interesting images in my mind that makes me ponder more on the meaning of the poem or the message you wished to convey. |
| Penelope June 2006-04-05 ch 1, | very bitter, yet intriquing poem... your words flew together very nicley and that make the poem alluring. very nice job |
| Osunale 2006-03-27 ch 1, | Beautifully woven words. Very striking. |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-03-26 ch 1, | Excellent word choice, as the whole thing seems to swim down the page. The reader can feel the description. Outstanding specifics in this as well. Very visual. Good write. |
| eighteen hundred 2006-03-26 ch 1, | I like this, all of this, first stanza caught me especially, as it should have. Nice nice nice. |
| NationChild 2006-03-25 ch 1, | Very descriptive and well written. This is one of those pieces that you can imagine it happening, right in front of your eyes. Great job! |
| youzi 2006-03-25 ch 1, | to viktor: i wouldn't really say it's personal experience,because i don't have anyone/anything in mind that really falls neatly into the ideas of this piece. On the other hand it seems somewhat unfeeling to call it a 'concept'(??!)..so i'd like to think it's a bit of both..because i seldom manage to write completely apart from my own personal experiences but at the same time i do not explicitly focus on individual incidents. Actually it might be more accurate to call this a collage of my experiences-that were not, even in themselves, concrete or definable- put together as valiantly as i possibly could, in the hope that someone else might identify with at least a portion of what i write? haha this is my attempt to explain myself. thanks everyone for the reviews and the constructive questioning :D let's keep writing! |
| Aquafied 2006-03-25 ch 1, | The draughtsman mappingthe secret portions of your mindmust have been a boy- ah, i really love the imagery so curving and delicate, but rough like a ship's deck. it truly makes me think |
| forsakensmile 2006-03-25 ch 1, | The imagery is perfect, and the style just brings it all together really well. |
| gitana 2006-03-24 ch 1, | Beautiful; the imagery in this is not only effective but original. I particularly liked the last three and a half lines: "You wonder what he is doing / in your mind; what you are doing / in the sweet, sore, sunken cavities / of his footsteps." It's like fire. hg |
| Hax Rook 2006-03-24 ch 1, | youzi- is this personal experience or more a concept? human peek at the inhumanized. unique style - not so much flowing as striking - neat. |
| blue704 2006-03-24 ch 1, | wow i love this, there is a lot of depth to this poem and its quite intricate in its meaning. i really liek your use of language, the vocab you use is quite different...i think its your writing style. stick with it. i love the last stanza, really i do. "sore, sunken cavities of his footsteps" are there any more words that need saying? p.s. thanks for the review |