FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| woesoflove 2006-03-24 ch 1,   | wow i think this is really good |
| waitandhope 2006-03-24 ch 1, | You're right. The rhythm is very nice. Not to mention it's a pretty poem, all in all. I think some of the words could be changed to make it seem more... natural. For example: "When he sprints his steps are cunning". "Cunning" goes nicely with the rhythm, but a tiger's steps aren't really "cunning". I don't see how anyone's steps could be cunning... I love the repetition. "Running, running, running..." Beautiful. All in all, very nice. |