FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| helium lost 2006-04-26 ch 1,   | Hmm, I don't think you have to have punctuation at the end of every line; it makes some flow more awkwardly. I don't really understand "No steels line you now…"--as in, why 'steels'. But anyway, I like the flow of the poem, and how it seems almost more of a speech than a poem--it's full of passion, imagery, and the tone and atmosphere are great. I especially like the symbolism, too--and how you've made this poem so that it can be interpreted in so many different ways by different people :) - hl |